boyfriend being crap.......or me being mental???

[someonesgirl]

Im 30 weeks pregnant. Me and him have argued a lot lately.....or more that ive got relly upset with him for things hes done or not done and accused him of not seeming to care about me. All he is doing is saying all the usual things blokes say when they want you to stop being upset with them like "dont be silly, of course i love you, id never do anything to hurt you, etc etc etc". My rational mind is telling me that hes telling the truth and hes just a bit crap at being attentive sometimes, and he can be quite a selfish arse at times and hes also quite teenage tantrum-like about things cos hes a mummys boy!! But at the same time, im feeling really insecure and **** about everything of late and it feels like he just doesnt care. Ive tried telling him how i feel but he hates talking about serious stuff and i feel like im talking to a child!! The only way we seem to resolve these things is if i get over my own feelings and get on with everything and try to forget about it. But its so frustrating!!!!! I feel like im going mad! I know my hormones are all over the place, but i refuse to put it down to that because i know my own mind!!

[redcrx]

I think its an instinctive thing that us women when pregnant find a need to be protected and loved. Yes we know we are perfectly able to cope by ourselves but why should we have to. We are making a child and the men are just carrying on as normal when they should be nesting etc with us.

Its perfectly understandable to feel insecure as having a baby is such a major life change for anyone, even when baby was planned for years and everything perfect for its arrival.

[someonesgirl]

but how do i make it right? I feel like im losing my personal identity and hes just carrying on as normal, except im almost not a part of his life anymore because i cant go to the pub etc and thats stuff we used to do together and now it feels like he'd rather go and do things with his mates than spend time with me (or he'll make the effort to spend the day with me (making me feel like hes doing it out of duty) and then plan to go out with them in the night or the next day when im in work. I feel like im losing my life companion and hes not understanding what the hell im going on about!!!

[redcrx]

you can still go to the pub, just not drink but I can understand if youre too tired to do so. The last trimester is very tiring at times.

I think its a common problem for women when children come along. The men dont need to change their lives as such do they? They can still go out with their friends, go to work as normal and still do everything they did before as 'mummy' takes care of everything at home.

Try and explain to him exactly how you are feeling, just as you have here and perhaps find some things that you can both enjoy together as a couple before you become a family with baby.

Why not arrange a day spent with your friends. A picnic, a day out, you can still enjoy an eve at pub if youre not drinking.

What youre feeling is normal if you ask me and you just need to get this across to your fella somehow and only you know the ways to make him sunderstand

[someonesgirl]

i do tell him this stuff and he just says im being silly. Which just makes me more frustrated! perhaps things will change when the baby comes and he has to be more involved.....

[spanner7853]

hi I'm 29 weeks and exactly the same, hormones are through the roof. I shouted at my husband so much last week I made him cry and I have never seen him cry ever. I felt awful but as redcrx said you feel the need to be more protective etc. I am still convinced i get PMT whilst pregnant. Flippin joke!

[someonesgirl]

awww you made him cry!!! thats quite funny tho! but are we going mad? I hope not!

[stressing1]

I've got 6 weeks left until I give birth and I have the most supportive boyfriend ever! He's bought everything and anything I even made a passing comment about liking, he's working extra hard to make extra money so we won't struggle when i go on maternity. But, I still accuse him of not caring, not being involved enough, and even though I know I can't do everything I used to be able to I still try and we have rows when I over do it! You're not going mad love, it is just hormones! If it's not, I'm a right b***h! lol