I can categorically state that there is not one similarity between the Royle family and my own.
I do not think my mother has even tried a cigarette, and my father certainly has never drank cheap canned booze.
As I am the only child (not even a cousin :-( to my name) the house is often quiet.
And given they have five reception rooms, there is little clutter.
And if anybody swore in front of my mother, they would be expelled from the house forever.
And if Caroline Ahern was sat on their settee, they would probably call the police or set the dog upon her for breaking and entering.