Seriously some of you ought to read the appalling things said on here tonight and reflect on how bad they are. Get a grip and show some love :-) Help is only a phone call away.
Is the barman still with you blobby? You could dress up in that childish cowboy outfit to try to spice things up. Alas I think she has stopped it on you for good. Should have thought before getting that big gut, double chin and red face. Can't say I blame her really.