Getting married, who pays for what?

[tamirra]

Who still agrees that the parents of the future bride should pay for their wedding, i still think that they should, does anyone also agree with me on this, and what is the actual tradition nowadays? Thanks

[Bbbananas]

No I don't agree.
Says the single parent of a 25 year old daughter....

[Bbbananas]

That's just an old fashioned out dated tradition. I think, if possible, parent(s) of the bride & groom should chip in what they can, and the prospective bride & groom pay the rest.

[ummmm]

I don't agree either. This is the day of equality. Pay for your own wedding.

Also...what happens if the brides parents cannot afford it?

[Bbbananas]

My parents paid for my first.
My 2nd husband and I paid for our second.
No-one will pay for my third - cos I aint gonna have one.... ;-)

[Teleph0ne]

Most marriages end in divorce and most brides want a 30k wedding so I think it is a bit unfair to expect the parents to cough up. I think that everyone who is able to help should help and the wedding be planned according to the money available not play the guilt trip on the parents by demanding the wedding of the year

[Jan1957]

I think that''s an outdated tradition. I know my parents couldn't afford it, having 4 girls. My husband and I paid for most of our wedding and our parents helped out where they could.

[vulcan]

the husband pays for it-in the neck.

[Bbbananas]

Ha Ha !!

Believe you me vulcan, many a woman pays for it eventually too...

[redcrx]

i shared the cost of my wedding with my parents though they did put up the majority. But they wanted to pay, i certainly wouldnt feel they had to out of some old tradition

[tamirra]

Why im asking is that my son would like to marry his fiancee and her parents are putting up a grand and we are putting up 1,500, then i said to my sons financee that i was going to invite my best mate of 20 years and my husbands godparents and her children and there family, along with my parents, anyway a total of 24 people on our side, she has so far counted 55 people on her side, after i mentioned this she went into a right strop and said i should have asked her if my mate and my husbands godparents could come, i dont think i should need to ask who we want to go to my sons wedding seeing as we are putting up more money to help them than her own parents are. Am i in the wrong?

[craft1948]

My ex-husband opened a savings account for this the year my daughter was born. As she is 40 in March and still single do you think he'll have saved enough yet?

[Bbbananas]

Oh-oh - weddings. This is one of the reasons I will never have another...

[B00]

Yes, you're wrong.

It's their wedding, not yours and as such should have a say who comes and who doesn't.

[dothawkes31]

Iy's traditionl to argue over guests at a wedding, stand your ground and she'll get over it, though chipping in a grand isn't much, my wedding in 1978 cos several thousand!

[Teleph0ne]

Surely it is up to the bride & groom who is invited, it's their day aafter all. Unless you are putting up the money on condition that they are invited

[tamirra]

Then why can her mum invite a friend and my sons fiancee dosn`t bat an eyelid, when i do she dosn`t speak to me again?

[karenmac60]

I've been married twice and both times partner and I paid for more or less the lot. Parents gave a little money as wedding gift which was put towards it (£100) but apart from that it was up to us - why should either set of paernts have to pay? It also means when you want things your way, you have the benefit of being able to say that you are paying so you get to decide.

[Bbbananas]

I knew it dot - you're a descendant of Royalty.
A wedding that cost thousands back in the 70's, an 8 stone xmas tree in your living room....

[ummmm]

Agree with BOO I'm afraid. I'd want the people I wanted at MY wedding. It has nothing to do with money. I'm sure if you'd made it clear to her that the 1.5k came with conditions she would have refused it. I would have.