Editor's Blog1 min ago
How Can I Deal With This Difficult Person? Help!!!
7 Answers
On November of 2013 I had come out of a very bad relationship. the man I was with took advantage of me (financially and emotionally). After our relationship fell to shambles. He skipped town and left me with all of our financial burdens without helping or paying a cent back for anything that he owed me. After the fact I began having serious financial problems as well as emotional. I was laid off from my job and couldn't afford to live on my own. I lost my car and my apartment. I have a 6 year old little girl. Her father (whom I have been separated from for 6 years) doesn't help me financially and is incredibly irresponsible which doesn't help my cause. So needless to say I have been struggling to make ends meet.. After all this happened I had no choice but to suck up my pride and embarrassingly/regrettably reach out to my daughters father's parents and ask them for help. Since my own family has turned a blind eye to my struggles and have never wanted to help me. It was either that or the street.
So, I have been staying in their home since November, desperately trying to find a decent paying job that will help me get on my feet and at least save enough to rent myself a small efficiency. Ive been on countless amounts of interviews applied to dozens of jobs. A couple of months ago I was hired somewhere as a cashier but the pay is horrible and they offer me very little hours. With the money I make, I have only been able to pay for my cell phone bill and buy a little bit of food without being able to save one cent. I have had no luck finding better work in this crappy economy.
So, Since I have no money I have been repaying my in laws through doing house chores and cleaning as much as I can. Since I have been here they have not had to lift a finger. Im pretty much a live in maid to them. I clean up after them and their guests. I occasionally cook for them and even fold their laundry when I find their clothing in the laundry room. I have been trying my best to do what I can to contribute. I appreciate everything they have done for me. But I'm at my wits end. My daughters grandfather is not an easy person to live with. he likes to start fights with me, quite often. He nit picks at anything he can find, continuously harasses me, criticizes and belittles me. He calls me names and yells at me in front of my daughter and says that I'm a lazy piece of *** and says I'm stupid. Makes fun of me and talks *** about me to his family and friends and even sometimes mocks me to my face.
Even though I do all of these things around the house. Its never good enough for him. I try to explain the situation and he doesn't understand that I am really trying. I have tried talking to him and have politely asked him not to speak to me in that manner in front of my daughter, and he has no regard what so ever, He just doesn't give a ***. He pretty much acts like everything that comes out of my mouth is garbage and means nothing to him. When I confront him about his rude behavior he responds by flipping it around and making it about me, never acknowledging that he might be in the wrong. I understand his frustrations, for this is not an easy, ideal situation for any of us. But he seems to forget that his own son doesn't monetarily help me with their grand daughter so it isn't all of my fault. His son barely comes around to spend time with our daughter. He's out there living his own life without a single care in the world while they coddle him and defend him. They pay for everything of his and make excuses for him, yet blame me and put all the responsibility and pressure on me.
So, I have been staying in their home since November, desperately trying to find a decent paying job that will help me get on my feet and at least save enough to rent myself a small efficiency. Ive been on countless amounts of interviews applied to dozens of jobs. A couple of months ago I was hired somewhere as a cashier but the pay is horrible and they offer me very little hours. With the money I make, I have only been able to pay for my cell phone bill and buy a little bit of food without being able to save one cent. I have had no luck finding better work in this crappy economy.
So, Since I have no money I have been repaying my in laws through doing house chores and cleaning as much as I can. Since I have been here they have not had to lift a finger. Im pretty much a live in maid to them. I clean up after them and their guests. I occasionally cook for them and even fold their laundry when I find their clothing in the laundry room. I have been trying my best to do what I can to contribute. I appreciate everything they have done for me. But I'm at my wits end. My daughters grandfather is not an easy person to live with. he likes to start fights with me, quite often. He nit picks at anything he can find, continuously harasses me, criticizes and belittles me. He calls me names and yells at me in front of my daughter and says that I'm a lazy piece of *** and says I'm stupid. Makes fun of me and talks *** about me to his family and friends and even sometimes mocks me to my face.
Even though I do all of these things around the house. Its never good enough for him. I try to explain the situation and he doesn't understand that I am really trying. I have tried talking to him and have politely asked him not to speak to me in that manner in front of my daughter, and he has no regard what so ever, He just doesn't give a ***. He pretty much acts like everything that comes out of my mouth is garbage and means nothing to him. When I confront him about his rude behavior he responds by flipping it around and making it about me, never acknowledging that he might be in the wrong. I understand his frustrations, for this is not an easy, ideal situation for any of us. But he seems to forget that his own son doesn't monetarily help me with their grand daughter so it isn't all of my fault. His son barely comes around to spend time with our daughter. He's out there living his own life without a single care in the world while they coddle him and defend him. They pay for everything of his and make excuses for him, yet blame me and put all the responsibility and pressure on me.
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Go and see your local council. You don't have to put up with abuse. I would be looking to move out at the earliest opportunity rather than relying on others for your life.
Perhaps find a live-in job which will also give you the chance to save something towards your future.
Sounds as though the Son is an irresponsible sack of **** anyway. His Father should kick his lazy backside. I would !!
Perhaps find a live-in job which will also give you the chance to save something towards your future.
Sounds as though the Son is an irresponsible sack of **** anyway. His Father should kick his lazy backside. I would !!
I get the impression from the language used by ashes820 that she is an American, and i am not sure what their welfare system provides.
Do you have the equivalent of our Citizen's Advice Bureau which will assist you with access to any benefits to which you are entitled?
I cannot believe that your country will not provide something to help you support your daughter, because obviously your current situation is becoming increasingly intolerable.
Have you thought about seeking employment as a live-in maid - that way at least you can do what you do now for people who will appreciate and pay you properly.
There must be some system wherby your ex is made responsible for paying some money towards child support - you need to explore these support avenues.
I hope you can get something sorted soon.
Do you have the equivalent of our Citizen's Advice Bureau which will assist you with access to any benefits to which you are entitled?
I cannot believe that your country will not provide something to help you support your daughter, because obviously your current situation is becoming increasingly intolerable.
Have you thought about seeking employment as a live-in maid - that way at least you can do what you do now for people who will appreciate and pay you properly.
There must be some system wherby your ex is made responsible for paying some money towards child support - you need to explore these support avenues.
I hope you can get something sorted soon.
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