Some of these might make you smile, and think, how true!

[merciasounds]

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Women will never be equal to men till they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again.

The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas!

Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot.

Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it

[RATTER15]

I like it!!

[marval]

Good ones

[zabado]

I love the early bird joke.Thanks

[Marijn]

I really like 1, 4 and 5 :-)

[wildwood]

A good collection. I use these quips to end an email, so I collect them. Thanks very much. lol

[fourteen85]

I like them as well, we used to say 'where theres a will there's relations'

[boxtops]

i like the hospitality one....

[beso]

"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad."

You would be surprised what works in a salad. Passionfruit and pineapple are both acidic and work fine in a fruit salad. No reason why tomato would be a problem.

For an interesting subtle twist include strawberries along with tomato in a garden salad.