What Do I Do If I Get This Job?
Jobs & Education2 mins ago
I'm in a tough situation with my lovely bf of 4 years. When we got together (at 20) we never thought it would be this long term. I had 2 serious bf's and plenty of fun before and now want to settle down. Unfortunately I'm bf's first love and he feels that if we were to commit long-term he would have a nagging doubt that he might be tempted to stray because he has never really had a single period to get his 'wild oats' out of his system. We both feel the only option is to take a break however this seems crazy as we are so in love, and I know i could not find a better match to spend the rest of my life with. He feels the same way but surely hurting now is better than potentially a lot more mess if we were married, with kids etc. I don't want anyone to slag him off, he is not a male tart who just wants to get his end away and I'd feel the same if the roles were reversed. I know that we'd both be heartbroken and he thinks he might be so depressed, he wouldn't enjoy his single status! I wouldn't want to meet anyone new or start a new relationship but what if he didn't come back...
Anyone been through this situation? Did you get back together? any tips? I'm really quite scared about it all as he is my rock. sorry 4 long post. thanks a lot
No best answer has yet been selected by morg_monster. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.Part of me thinks he is selfish for even considering sleeping around when he is in love with you. How can he do that? If he came back a few months later insisting he wants to be with you forever, could you really have him back knowing that he had had sex with someone else? I feel that this may destroy your relationship.
But if he feels he wants to see other people then it is as good as splitting up- only he can have you on sale or return! Has he thought about how he would feel if you had sex with someone else? Would he really be able to just take you back as if nothing had happened?
Give him his space and let him wander, but tell him to only have actual sex if he absolutely has to. A few drunken snogs may be all he needs to realise what he is in danger of losing.
I'm sorry but i dont agree. Why is it ok for him to go out on the prowl cos he feel like he needs to "find himself"???? What if he doesnt find anyone else, would you wait around and take him back? If you wait around and he happens to meet someone else, what then? I think you need to get a straight answer to stop you from going mad!
I really hope it works out for you but cant help feeling its all about what HE wants and you dont seem to matter! From the sounds of it he seems happy with you so why spoil it with "what if's" ;o)
morg_monster my post was exactly what my pals would say to me too! its difficult when you arent in that situation cos you and your fella are in your own little bubble at the moment, i really hope it all works out the right way in the end (whichever way that is). I am a true believer in fate and think whatever happens is for a reason, suppose its good he is being honest with you so you know how he is feeling (a rare thing in the male species!).
Good luck! x