Best Late For Work Excuses

[sunny-dave]

The best that was ever offered to me was by a (perpetually late, but actually very valuable) member of my team who arrived just before 12 noon, for an 8:45 start, looking very rumpled ...

"I was on my way out to the car and dropped my keys in the grass

Which was so long that I couldn't find them

I broke open my shed but the lawnmower was out of petrol

So I had to walk two miles each way to the Petrol Station to buy a canful

Then I had to mow the lawn to find the keys ..."



What's your most creative effort ... ?

[Bbbananas]

You see, I'd have believed that cos it's just the sort of thing that wound, genuinely, happen to me.

Am I gullible or just an idiot?

[sunny-dave]

We just laughed & made him buy the lunchtime pints (a very different world back then) ...

[paddywak]

I had a lad on my shift who was notorious for turning up late knowing he would often end up deployed to the pit top. This day he turned up with the story that the A1 had been blocked at Five Lanes End by a wagon overturning and releasing hundreds of turkeys into the road. I was just about to give him a bollocking when one of the other lads came into the office and asked him what he'd got in the boot of his car that was making all the noise and it turned out that a couple of turkeys had got "lost" and wandered into his boot. After that I was a lot less sceptical about some of the excuses I was given.

[tonyav]

I think that is brilliant dave, I like his style. Tony writes it down mmmmmm might use that one next week.

[mccfluff]

i was skinny dipped last night and lost my glasses, i can't see the screen so there is no point my coming in until i retrieve them

[mccfluff]

*dipping*

[sunny-dave]

That could take a while in the Cut ...

[tonyav]

So fluffy they weren't fully skinny dipping if they were wearing their glasses.

[2sp_]

A woman I worked with phoned in one winter morning to say that her road was blocked due to the snow and wouldn't be able to make it in.

As it happened, our new big big boss started that very day and he just happened to live at the other end of her road... He was standing in the office giving a "I'm looking forward to being an absent face that you can't rely on to do anything or support you in any way" speech (this was the NHS) when our office secretary took the call. He had no problem getting past the three flakes of snow that fell overnight.

She was advised to get her bottom into the office pronto.

[tonyav]

sunny-dave
Question Author
That could take a while in the Cut ...


LOL, that's were I learned to swimm, dave. Essington and Wyley.

[mccfluff]

it was me, in the local private school pool during the summer break, i had to sneak back in during the day to get them and got caught by the security guard

[tonyav]

Ohhhhhhh, naughty fluffy lol.

[gness]

My old Ford Escort need some shoving to start from time to time. It was in the garage, which sloped towards the drive so, with driver's door open, holding the steering wheel I began to push backwards. I must be stronger than I think and with the slope to help the car shot backwards and the door sliced into and got stuck....in a bag of cement. I couldn't push forwards and up the slope.....
"I'll be late in...my car is stuck in a bag of cement." And no one doubted me. :-) x

[dustypuss]

This is a true excuse given to me by a work colleague.

I was chasing the cat this morning when it went into a cupboard and wouldn’t comeout so I grabbed it by the tail and its tale came off. So I had to take it to the vet !!!!!!!!!.

[tonyav]

" And no one doubted me. :-) x


Well they wouldn't would they lol !

[China Doll]

I live in london.Thanks to south east trains, last week I had to phone my bossn and tell her I couldn't actually get in to London! At train had broke down on between the two stations I use and we weren't gong anywhere for an couple of hours.... I have collegues coming from miles away who don't have the same transport problems I do!

[mrs_overall]

My best excuse for being late was one I have previously recounted on here when I was attacked by 3 lesbian dolphins.
My boss obviously was a tad sceptical until I produced photographic evidence the following week

[gness]

I'm not surprised at the best answer....makes my car in cement seem a normal experience. :-( x

[sunny-dave]

Let's face it - you'd have needed a nude, pole-dancing builder to be moving the cement at the time ... then you'd have been in with a shout :+)

[gness]

How the hell did you know about that bit of the story????!!! x