Custody Case

[ChapterElevN]

It just recently came to my attention, a weekend dad, that my 7 year old daughter's mother and her fiancé have been arrested for trafficking synthetic marijuana to the tune of 170lbs confiscated. They posted bail and the mom was arrested again for the same offense. Both arrest records show over 13 firearms confiscated along with $3900 in cash and an unknown white substance. While out again on bail, (Great Lawyer?), she was arrested for smuggling contraband into court for a good friend on trial for murder, charges dismissed, (Again, Great Lawyer?). Turns out that her fiancé drove the man sentenced to 24 years for this murder to the scene to sell $8,000 of real marijuana, the deal went bad and he shot and killed his victim. The fiancé then picked the murderer/drug dealer up and harbored him in my child's home until he was arrested at my child's home. My child's mother's brother, also a flagrant in on the trafficking was arrested at her home. My child told Child Protective Services that her mother and mother's fiancé had her putting stickers on the synthetic marijuana packages after mother stuffed the bags on multiple occasions. CPS granted me an Emergency Custody Order and three days later it was overturned by the judge during the hearing. I then filed for an Ex Parte Emergency Custody Order in the county where I live, where all original jurisdiction for custody is, and it was granted. The hearings on August 30th. Mom lied to my daughter about all of this stuff, even though people have been arrested in front of her, she labeled this stuff and had to stay with her grandma while mom was in jail, (Cops never told me about it to come get her.). So when my child kept asking why she wasn't going home, and why she was enrolled in school with me and why mom hasn't been aloud to call here, and why she was going to be living with me, should I have told her the truth and showed her the police records, news headlines and mug shots while telling her that her mommy is still a good person, just confused and didn't know what to do so she lied about all of this and wouldn't have done it if she knew she would have to give her daughter up to me? Or should I have been the liar and cover for her and make my daughter feel like I just was stealing her away from mommy and being mean? My child is smart as a whip. She knew something was up. My wife and our neighbor , a 20 year veteran 2nd-3rd grade teacher told me I needed to tell her to help her understand the truth. We never speak ill of mom and never have. This has been the only time we have ever shown my daughter anything bad about her mom. Also, do you think the judge is going to grant permanency to the sole custody order under all these grounds if my child is already 3 weeks into her school year here if mom was changing schools anyway? Thanks.

[woofgang]

You have posted on a UK website, so the law and legal practice on this may differ from the US (I am assuming from the use of Mom and Mommy that you are in America)

[murraymints]

I would tell her that mommy had done something bad and has had to go away a while to say sorry...wouldn't go into graphic detail just yet, that can wait till she's a bit older and more settled. Good luck.

[ChapterElevN]

Woofgang: these are moral questions. "Mum" was lying to her point blank. Had her thinking I was lying about the fiancé. What do you think? What is your opinion?

[pixie373]

Your daughter is very young to be understanding any of this. I would keep it as simple as possible for now. Mum can't look after her at the moment, so you are. Be careful what you say. She loves her mum and will see you as the "baddie" if you say bad things about her. Answer what she does ask, but gently.

[woofgang]

"Also, do you think the judge is going to grant permanency to the sole custody order under all these grounds if my child is already 3 weeks into her school year here if mom was changing schools anyway? Thanks."

that was what i was replying to.

[Peter Pedant]

Tell her her mum has gone away and you couldnt do anything about it
(wh is true if you think about it)

and the only thing you need to tell her is when the other kids start mentioning it at school.

[EDDIE51]

Can't comment on the legal aspect as your laws are different.
But on a personal level, the child loves her Mum and does not understand what has happened. You need to be very kind and gentle with her and explain that Mum has some problems that mean she has to be with you for a while.