ChatterBank6 mins ago
Dv/battery
My bf/babydaddy went to jail recently for dv/battery, because he was angry and wasnt thinking. We got into a petty fight & said some things that we didnt mean to each other. Now, they put a temp restrain order for my son and i against him & we cant see him or talk to him. I did not want that. I also have dcf (central fl) up my ass too. I just need some clarity on some things. Also, this is his first offense.
1) how long will they keep him?
2) will they eventually let him back around us?
3) will they lift the restrain order?
4) will dcf go away?
5) how long will the trial last?
I love him alot and we need him. He was the only one working due to our financial situation. I dont want my son to grow up without a father, like i did. Im so sad and depressed everyday. All i do is cry. And i barely eat or sleep anymore. Please help.
1) how long will they keep him?
2) will they eventually let him back around us?
3) will they lift the restrain order?
4) will dcf go away?
5) how long will the trial last?
I love him alot and we need him. He was the only one working due to our financial situation. I dont want my son to grow up without a father, like i did. Im so sad and depressed everyday. All i do is cry. And i barely eat or sleep anymore. Please help.
Answers
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Where are you USA? It makes a difference to the advice we can give.
But first what are dv/battery( Is that what we call assault?) and who or what is dcf (central fl) .
Sorry, but from what I see so far the advice probably will be '' get away from him before he does you some real harm''
A man that injures his partner so badly that he is put in jail for it is not ever going to be any use to you , get out while you still can !
But let us have some more information,and there will be some more advice we can offer, we have seen this situation many times.
But first what are dv/battery( Is that what we call assault?) and who or what is dcf (central fl) .
Sorry, but from what I see so far the advice probably will be '' get away from him before he does you some real harm''
A man that injures his partner so badly that he is put in jail for it is not ever going to be any use to you , get out while you still can !
But let us have some more information,and there will be some more advice we can offer, we have seen this situation many times.
^^ As suspected then USA .
cassi_b, If your dcf is like our UK ' family court' NO they will NOT go away.
(or not until the child is 18. )
They are there to protect children from violent people like your Boyfriend. If you do not conform with what they tell you they can take the child away from you. You need urgent advice and the dcf are the people to give it. Talk to them, it will be your only way out of this, they have seen it all before and helped many many women in your situation.
cassi_b, If your dcf is like our UK ' family court' NO they will NOT go away.
(or not until the child is 18. )
They are there to protect children from violent people like your Boyfriend. If you do not conform with what they tell you they can take the child away from you. You need urgent advice and the dcf are the people to give it. Talk to them, it will be your only way out of this, they have seen it all before and helped many many women in your situation.
This is a UK-based website, so people here are unlikely to know about US laws and legal procedures (which are vastly different to ours).
I suggest posting here instead
https:/
(There's a 'Law and Ethics' subsection available if you first click on 'Politics and Government').
I suggest posting here instead
https:/
(There's a 'Law and Ethics' subsection available if you first click on 'Politics and Government').
My comments at 20.34 still apply to you.
The details of the law will be different but the advice will be the same.
Get out ! and get him out of your life ! before he either kills or seriously injures you or the child.
I do not know the exact law in Florida, but for your BF to be in jail for an offence of assaulting you means the assault had to be very serious. The restraining order is for your protection ! The only way you and your BF can ever be together again is for both of you to work with the authorities (dcf) and try to overcome the problems, it will take time a lot of time.
For the your son's sake you have to co-operate with the dcf and do what they tell you to do. If you fail to do this they can and will remove your son from your care. This is because the most important consideration is the health and safety of the child. If the dcf consider the child is not safe with you due to your bf's violent behaviour, they have no option but to ensure the child's safety by removing him from the danger. If you do not co-operate that means they have to take the child away to a place of safety away from you and your bf. Can you contact your family for help? You sound very young and in need of support.
The details of the law will be different but the advice will be the same.
Get out ! and get him out of your life ! before he either kills or seriously injures you or the child.
I do not know the exact law in Florida, but for your BF to be in jail for an offence of assaulting you means the assault had to be very serious. The restraining order is for your protection ! The only way you and your BF can ever be together again is for both of you to work with the authorities (dcf) and try to overcome the problems, it will take time a lot of time.
For the your son's sake you have to co-operate with the dcf and do what they tell you to do. If you fail to do this they can and will remove your son from your care. This is because the most important consideration is the health and safety of the child. If the dcf consider the child is not safe with you due to your bf's violent behaviour, they have no option but to ensure the child's safety by removing him from the danger. If you do not co-operate that means they have to take the child away to a place of safety away from you and your bf. Can you contact your family for help? You sound very young and in need of support.
If a man starts hitting, and you go away and then go back, he will assume that you accept his behaviour. Even if you say you don't, even if the courts put restraints on him. He will certainly get worse if he feels you have accepted this outbreak of violence by going back. The thing is that men who bash are men who enjoy bashing, and they don't like to get their enjoyment interrupted or stopped. You will end up as his punch-bag. You may not get another opportunity as good as this to get away and make sure you don't get bashed again. You can find another man, who does not get his fun from violence against women. This violence always ( absolutely always) escalates, so you are risking your life and maybe your baby's life by staying. Go now, while you can. Go as far as you can.
I know what I am talking about
I know what I am talking about
I too know what I’m talking about (not because I have been a victim or a perpetrator of dv but because I do some work where I come into contact with victims). I can only support what atlanta has said 100%.
You don’t want your son to grow up without a father? Well consider this – if you allow this man back into your life he may have to grow up without a mother or a father because you will be dead and he will be inside. Use this opportunity to get away from this man. You may not get another chance (or a better one). Men who hit women (especially those they are supposed to love) do not get better. They get worse. They do not change; they do not stop; they continue with increasing ferocity.
Whatever your situation get some help that will enable you and your child to get as far away from this creep as possible. Give evidence against him in court if necessary to get him convicted. Do not consider ways to welcome him back to your arms; do not put yourself in a situation where he can thump you again because he will – it’s an absolute certainty. Don’t worry about how long they will keep him in – the longer the better for all concerned.
I don’t think I can be any clearer.
You don’t want your son to grow up without a father? Well consider this – if you allow this man back into your life he may have to grow up without a mother or a father because you will be dead and he will be inside. Use this opportunity to get away from this man. You may not get another chance (or a better one). Men who hit women (especially those they are supposed to love) do not get better. They get worse. They do not change; they do not stop; they continue with increasing ferocity.
Whatever your situation get some help that will enable you and your child to get as far away from this creep as possible. Give evidence against him in court if necessary to get him convicted. Do not consider ways to welcome him back to your arms; do not put yourself in a situation where he can thump you again because he will – it’s an absolute certainty. Don’t worry about how long they will keep him in – the longer the better for all concerned.
I don’t think I can be any clearer.
Let me emphasise even further - he is not, I repeat, NOT the exception. He is not the one single woman-beater who will turn his life around and make good. He does not love you. A man who truly loves does not use violence - ever. He will Not be the one leopard who does change his spots. Don't kid yourself. Pack your bags now, don't leave him a forwarding address, leave town, scram.
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