Those Crazy Irish

[retrocop]

There was a power failure in a Dublin Department Store last week and











































>> three hundred people were stranded on the escalators for more than two
>> hours.
>> …………………………………….
>>
>> “O’Leary, your glass is empty, will you be having another one?”
>> And what would I be doing with two empty glasses?” O’Leary replied.
>> ……………………………….
>>
>> Young Teresa came home with some dreadful news. “I’m pregnant” she
>> cries.
>> “And how do you know it’s yours?” shouts her father.
>> …………………………………
>>
>> PADDY: “Hey Shaun, what’s Mick’s surname?”
>> SHAUN: “Mick who?”
>> …………………………………..
>>
>> *PADDY: “If you can guess how many Pheasants I’ve got in me bag you
>> can have both of them”.*
>> *SHAUN: Three.*
>> ………………………………….
>>
>> Mrs Murphy said: I don’t tink me husband has been faithful to me”.
>> “Why’s that?” said Mrs O’Toole.
>> “Me last child don’t look anything like him”.
>> …………………………………….
>>
>> Mrs O’Toole said: “I can only tell you this bit of scandal once,
>> because I promised Mrs O’Leary I would never repeat it”.
>> ……………………………………
>>
>> Shaun and Molly sat up all night, on their honeymoon, waiting for
>> their conjugal relations to arrive.
>> ……………………………………
>>
>> Murphy had a rope hanging from a tree in his garden. Shamus asked him
>> what it was for.
>> “It’s me weather guide” said Murphy, “If it’s swinging back and forth,
>> it’s windy and if it’s wet, its been raining.
>> ……………………………………..
>>
>> Murphy was told by the Doctor he had two weeks to live, so he chose
>> the last week in July and the first week in August.
>> ……………………………………
>>
>> Colleen dropped a Euro coin, intending it to fall into the blind man’s
>> hat on the pavement, but missed, as quick as a flash he scooped it up
>> and put it in the hat. “You’re not blind” she said. “No I’m not” said
>> Paddy, “Its Murphy whose blind, I’m just filling in for him while he’s
>> gone to the pictures”.
>> ……………………………………
>>
>> “We’re looking for a Treasurer for the Xmas fund”, said Paddy.
>> “Didn’t you take on a new one last month?” said Murphy.
>> “That’s the one we’re looking for”, Paddy replied.
>> ……………………………………..
>>
>> Father O’Flaherty asked Mrs O’Reilly how many children she had Four
>> was the reply. “That’s a good Catholic woman you are, and when will
>> you be having the next? He asked. “I’m not Father”, she replied. “I
>> read that every fifth child born in the world is Chinese”.
>> ………………………………….
>>
>> The Dublin pensioners club go on a mystery tour every Wednesday and to
>> make it interesting they have a sweep to guess where they are going.
>> Shamus, the coach driver, has won five weeks on the trot.
>> …………………………………..
>>
>> “Mrs O’Leary” said the Doctor, “Do you smoke after intercourse?”
>> “I've never looked”, she replied.

[Patsy33]

Lol!

[Shaglene]

Retro, you have come up with some crackers here......