Better watch what you ask retired people.

[annie0000]

Funny Story:


Banned from the co-op Didn't like shopping there anyway


Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food
for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.


What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added
that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke
up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so
it works well and I was going to try it again.



(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now
enthralled with my story.)



Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's elbow and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Co-op.


Better watch what you ask retired people.

[craft1948]

Reported for ageism.............

annie I love it and I'd have been tempted to do the same.....

[marval]

HaHa a good one, have heard it before though.

[annie0000]

I dont know poodi - I haven't heard it before - I didn't say i made it up.

[annie0000]

Just noticed that the swear filter changed the dog's rear end to elbow!

[annie0000]

craft, that's not ageist - it's celebrating older citizens rights not to give a damn what people think of them - we should all take a leaf out of their book and the world would be a funnier place.

[twizzle2]

HaHa funny..

might try the diet myself,

[dothawkes31]

I must be getting old too cos I;ve felt that way for about 10 years now annie, it's quite liberating in a liberty bodice sort of way

[annie0000]

I'm only 43 but i've been like that for years Dot - I try to stop short of rudeness, but lifes too short to beat about the bush!

[puss_boots]

That's the same as a joke I always bring out when I have a couple of glasses of wine. Woman is complaining that her sex life is non existant, she hears that dog food is a good aphrodisiac so she makes her husband a Pal pie, the Pal pie works wonders and she tells her friend how good it was, but unfortunately hubby dies. Friends asks if he died from heart attack due to too much excertion, no says she.... he was sitting in the road licking his dick when a car ran him over.

[Jan1957]

Made me laugh Annie.

[puss_boots]

ooops sorry not like me at all, but it always makes me smile.

[annie0000]

Made me laugh too guys - I like yours too puss_boots!

[Sandy-Wroe]

Was the dog badly injured?

[annie0000]

Hi Sandy - i am presuming it was a joke and that no animals were hurt in the telling of this tale - or should that be tail?!?

[Sandy-Wroe]

I was just about to go to the pet shop and buy some Purina. I need to lose a bit of weight. Suppose I'll just have to reconsider joining weight watchers.

[annie0000]

It sounds tempting - maybe stick with the cat equivalent though - unless you think that the odd supplementary sparrow might be fattening?