News0 min ago
One Liners
"Don't kid yourself" would be a great slogan for a condom company
Marriage us like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond but by the end you wish you had a club and a spade.
The best part about being a procrastinator is you always have something to do... tomorrow.
Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.
Men are like babies when they get cranky; they just shove a nipple in their mouth!
The awkward moment when you mispronounce organism in science class.
I have just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the life out of me. That's it. No more reading!
I named my dog "five miles" so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.
I almost had a threesome last night, I just needed two more people
I tried to catch fog today... mist.
What do you get when you cross a hedgehog with an owl?
A pr!ck that stays up all night.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Marriage us like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond but by the end you wish you had a club and a spade.
The best part about being a procrastinator is you always have something to do... tomorrow.
Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.
Men are like babies when they get cranky; they just shove a nipple in their mouth!
The awkward moment when you mispronounce organism in science class.
I have just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the life out of me. That's it. No more reading!
I named my dog "five miles" so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.
I almost had a threesome last night, I just needed two more people
I tried to catch fog today... mist.
What do you get when you cross a hedgehog with an owl?
A pr!ck that stays up all night.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
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