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Im getting married this month . . but when i went out a few weeks ago i got talking to a guy who was djing?
11 Answers
Im getting married this month . . but when i went out a few weeks ago i got talking to a guy who was djing?
about doing it for my wedding, i was a bit drunk and think i annoyed him a bit by trying to talk so much whilst he was djing!
cus he gave me his business card . . i felt bad and texted him the next day apologising for annoying him....but since then we have been texting alot...but its mostly been about his girlfriend and how jealous she is etc and ive been giving him advice about it, anyway he's decided to make a real go of it with his g/f . . . the problem i have is i havent told anyone about this because i know how people react when u say u met a guy out and have been texting even though its all innocent......ive met him a couple times during the day for a coffee and chat and he says its nice to have a female friend to talk to as he hasnt had any . . . . i told my fiance ive been giving advice to this guy in 'work' .
I went out last night and he texted and said he was out and he came and met me ( i was out with all my sisters mates as everyone had gone home) i told them i worked with him and after a couple hours he put me in a cab and i went and stayed at my mates (as i was anyway)
now there is a pic of us on facebook and my sister will realise its the dj from the bar and not a guy i work with.
what do i do? do i keep him as a mate or not?
i have loads more male mates than girls cus i get on better with them and we get on well him........and no im not attracted to him in any way....he's not all that to look at!!!
im going to tell my fiance today. the reason for lying is because i really worry about what other people think....even though the majority of my closest mates are male.
appologies for spelling and grammer!
about doing it for my wedding, i was a bit drunk and think i annoyed him a bit by trying to talk so much whilst he was djing!
cus he gave me his business card . . i felt bad and texted him the next day apologising for annoying him....but since then we have been texting alot...but its mostly been about his girlfriend and how jealous she is etc and ive been giving him advice about it, anyway he's decided to make a real go of it with his g/f . . . the problem i have is i havent told anyone about this because i know how people react when u say u met a guy out and have been texting even though its all innocent......ive met him a couple times during the day for a coffee and chat and he says its nice to have a female friend to talk to as he hasnt had any . . . . i told my fiance ive been giving advice to this guy in 'work' .
I went out last night and he texted and said he was out and he came and met me ( i was out with all my sisters mates as everyone had gone home) i told them i worked with him and after a couple hours he put me in a cab and i went and stayed at my mates (as i was anyway)
now there is a pic of us on facebook and my sister will realise its the dj from the bar and not a guy i work with.
what do i do? do i keep him as a mate or not?
i have loads more male mates than girls cus i get on better with them and we get on well him........and no im not attracted to him in any way....he's not all that to look at!!!
im going to tell my fiance today. the reason for lying is because i really worry about what other people think....even though the majority of my closest mates are male.
appologies for spelling and grammer!
Answers
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If you enjoy his friendship, there is no reason to ditch him.
The important factors are these -
First and foremost you need to square this with your fiance. Tell him honestly how this has come about, and why you indluged in a lttle subtefuge - if you are marrying him, he will obviously trust you with male friends, including this one. If this becomes an issue, then you should be thinking about postponing your wedding until you sort it all out.
Secondly - beawre of platonic friendships moving into other areas. If this guy finds you a sympathetic friend in his time of trouble, believe me it is a very short step for him to think he has feelings for you, which can cause issues for everyone. i am sure if you have platonic male friends who are aware of this potential problem. You need to nothing other than be nice to a vulnerable guy for him to start professing undying love for you, whicis is something toi avoid.
The friends - simply ride out the issue, and tell them as little as possible.
Let us know how you get on.
The important factors are these -
First and foremost you need to square this with your fiance. Tell him honestly how this has come about, and why you indluged in a lttle subtefuge - if you are marrying him, he will obviously trust you with male friends, including this one. If this becomes an issue, then you should be thinking about postponing your wedding until you sort it all out.
Secondly - beawre of platonic friendships moving into other areas. If this guy finds you a sympathetic friend in his time of trouble, believe me it is a very short step for him to think he has feelings for you, which can cause issues for everyone. i am sure if you have platonic male friends who are aware of this potential problem. You need to nothing other than be nice to a vulnerable guy for him to start professing undying love for you, whicis is something toi avoid.
The friends - simply ride out the issue, and tell them as little as possible.
Let us know how you get on.
I know from bitter experience how easy it is for a small subterfuge to get out of hand. We are always wise after the event: be up front from the start. Too late this time. They only way forward now is to tell your boyfriend you did it because of the reactions of your girl friends, not his possible jealousy, and may be show him the text messages so he can see for himself it's all innocent. Good luck, but use this as a learning experience!
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