Just wanted to share this poem by Pam Ayres.

[starone]

Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits
By Pam Ayres

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they're less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

Pass on to all your female girlfriends of a certain age and to any males of that age,
Who you think can handle it......despite of themselves!!!!

[marval]

lol, thank you Star, I love Pam Ayres poems.

[starone]

Trouble is, at my age I can empathise with it.

[marval]

That is the trouble, they say old age never comes alone.

[Old_Geezer]

You sure it's not just a parody ?
Seems a bit repetitive for to be a genuine Pammy.

[FredPuli43]

Yes, OG. It looks like a parody of "Oh! I wish I'd looked after me teeth", which is by Pam Ayres.

[starone]

Could be - I don't really know, but it is still funny. Whoever srote it - if it is a parody then I must apologise to Pam Ayres.

[tenrec]

Wonderful Pam Ayres. Yes it does sound very similar to the "I wish I'd looked after me teef"

[Jemisa]

Oh! Starbi that is soo good, That one isn't in my book, Glad you posted it. (lol)
She was on at our local theatre and I was so disappointed L missed her. By the time i'd found out it was too late. Hopefully she'll be back.

jem.

[starone]

It's the look on her face when she is reading the poems, and of course her accent. She is hilarious.