An Ode to the Brits and the Penguins in Oz

[DTCwordfan]

This funny bird in fancy evening clothes
may waddle in the Seaworld snow,
but when it's in the Brit's hotel bathroom sea
just watch how fast he or she goes!

A penguin's song sounds like a asheep or donkey's bray,
they cannot parrot chatter, soar or fly,
yet outside Seaworld, penguins manage an easy play,
and let the Bard, the sheep, tell you why…

Their feathers keep out the bathroom water,
their blubber keeps out the bedroom cold,
their wings make perfect paddles
to make Brit yobs think they're rather bold.

Pengie tails are good for steering,
they brake and screech with both their feet—
The Ozzie police arrested this racketeering
Aren't penguins just so cute and NEAT?

[gness]

:-)

[rowanwitch]

It was early in the morning he opened half an eye
And very quickly closed it as he thought he did espy
A midget in a diner suit
Waddling round the room
He wasn't really certain
In the morning gloom
something smelt quite fishy and to his dismay
The fishy smell got worse when the midget walked his way
And thne his brain cells fired up
his head clicked into gear
Sh1t its a bloody penguin
But what's it doing here
Last night he knew he'd been quite drunk
his mates were rat-ar5ed too
And he vaguely had a feeling
they'd gone to Marine Zoo
He knew then they'd been swimming
With the dolphins and he sighed
With relief it wasn't in the tank on t'other side
For if they'd gone the other way
Confused by drink and dark
They might well have been legless due to swimming with a shark
But back to this murky morning
and their new little guest
Who 'ppppicked up a penguin''
He shouted to the rest
Wasn't me the first one said
I'm not that kind of bloke
well one among us did it
and its not a funny joke
They put it in the bath tub
While they decided what to do
One went to the shopping mall
for a sardine or two
But finally they had to stop and take it on the chin
They went to the police
To hand the penguin in
So lads be warned and careful
Good adbice you heard
On your way home please pick up
The other sort of bird..