The Answerbank Radio Show - Episode 12

[mrs_overall]

In the village of Answerbank Under the Wold (twinned with Middelfart, Denmark), a fierce debate was underway in the Quizzes & Puzzles Arms as to the parentage of Mike1111. The villagers had been stunned into silence the previous day when the village grump had claimed to be his father. DT, Mick Talbot, Sunnydave, the Reverend Venator, Seadogg and even the village idiot Baza had also claimed to be his father. It transpired that they had all been paying maintenance for the first 18 years of his life.
"His mother was on a good number there" cackled AYG from her ususal seat at the bar.
Over in the corner, Vodkancoke (still on bail but due in court imminently) was having an impromptu legal session with her advisor Barmaid.
"So let me get this straight, they have charged you with benefit fraud because you claimed a whole raft of benefits for your 23 children?" queried Barmaid.
"That's right" replied Vodkancoke.
"Do you have 23 children?" asked Barmaid, making notes on a pad.
"Erm, not exactly" said Vodka in an evasive tone.
"Well how many children do you have?"
"None" said Vodka in a quiet voice.
Just then the door opened and in strolled Murray"The Mauler" Mints with Tonyav slung casually over one shoulder.
"How did the date go?" asked Gness who was busy pouring a quadruple gin for Craft whilst trying to kick Jan57 awake.
Murray grinned, her buck toothed smile lighting up her homely face.
"I took him to a wrestling match. We were watching two old mates of mine, Sibton "The Strangler" and Chi-Chi "The Choker". Tony was really enjoying himself but then he made the mistake of booing Sibton. She leaped down from the ring and got him down on the floor using a classic move - a Double Origami followed by a Half Lotus Elan. I managed to twist his head back into position and he'll be ok when he comes round."
The door opened and in clacked Towie and Deesa on impossibly high white stilletoes.
"Orlright me darlin's, the wait is nearly over" screeched Deesa in a voice reminiscent of fingernails on a blackboard. "Our shop is having a grand opening this week and you are all invited."
"Are you going to tell us what the shop is going to be?" slurred Alba from under her usual table.
Towie patted her peroxide beehive and grinned.

(cue theme music as episode ends)

[excelsior-1]

another gripping installment.

well done mrs_o.

[starone]

ROFL Even better. This makes me really laugh out loud Mrs O. Hope you can keep it up.

[Psybbo]

Brillian as ever mrs_o, glad to get my hands on tony's neck

[Mick-Talbot]

It transpired that they had all been paying maintenance for the first 18 years of his life


First 18 years of Mike111's life ?


Can a sperm pay maintenance ?

[tonyav]

Oh gawd, yet another trip to the A & E dept. I had a feeling this date would not end well. And another thing, I was conned by Murray the mauler, she told me it was female mud wrestling, that's why I was booing !

[mrs_overall]

Mick, I exercise my right to use artistic licence

[sunny-dave]

Artistic Licence - does that entitle you to keep and use an artist ?

[mrs_overall]

Dave - I will have to read the small print. I bought the licence from the post office for £1.50

[tonyav]

Only on Saturday's dave.

[Kiki-frog]

Really funny. These get better all the time. One question - when do the cast members get paid?

[tonyav]

Cast members kiki, I am usually in a plaster cast !

[mrs_overall]

I want to know when I get paid too!

All enquiries re payment to the Ab Editor

[sunny-dave]

Your reward will be in Heaven, Mrs O

< other afterlifes are available, terms and conditions may apply >

[humbersloop]

some gems in there mrs o :)

[starone]

I don't mind not getting paid. It is a privilege to be in this soap. Not only that I feel much better since drinking so much free coffee, since I am the only one who can work the coffee machine. Bit hyper-active though, perhaps I shouldn't drink so much but when the customers say 'have one for yourself' I just can't resist it.

[albaqwerty]

lol excellent as ever Mrs O.

It's going to be a doughnut shop, please pretty please.

[TOWIE]

hahaha another great episode, Mrs. O. Poor Tony, he really does like hospital food......... right I am off to hairspray my beehive a little more, sharpen my false nails and get back to the shop to help Dee with a bit of tidying up for the grand opening. {:o)

[craft1948]

lol lol I see I'm on quadruples this week................how tall am I?

[tonyav]

3' 6''

[Psybbo]

As tall as a juniper tree surely?