Had Said Tonight Earlier On Was Saying Good Night

[Connemmara]

As usual insomnia -but for different reasons. As you know brother has been in hospital for about 10 days. Visited him yesterday and the cheeky arrogant etc of a man who has been seriously ill - looked great yesterday - please forgive me for distorted posting - he got out today and I have heard through the grapevine - gave the nurse and doctors hell that one nurse said they could not get rid of him quick enough - rude, arrogant, demanding - rude to a "fat nurse" - his words "oh did you play sport" - yes the nurse said - he said you wouldn't think so. Doctors said we will send you home with a nebiliser - says he "not me". I am so depressed, sad, despondent as I know - some nurses and doctors are good and bad but every one them try to get you better. I don't give a sh t - when I went down to his house tried to give it a womanly touch even though a 30 year old son is there bloody hopeless -took an hour to make his bed is beautiful - bleached his toilets sanitised the whole bloody house - left about £200 of food - and I really want to retch at his attitude to the hospital authorities. Only the fact he has lost his wife and son 20 years ago and left 4 other small sons - the way I am feeling tonight - I want to sever contact. He is one arrogant funk funker. I sorta said to myself well if I went to all the trouble of cleaning his house through vertigo attack and frozen shoulder - all ungrateful - towards to the people who have tried to make him better. I have taken my sleeping pills and horlicks and still am awake. I am so ashamed of him. I can't sever with him as I am close to his sons. I believe his language was abhorrent always was and I am not a curser but when you talk to a person like this you need to use abhorrent language and take a stance. If I am talking to him face to face I want to lance my anger to him but will it knock him back - Gawd forgive me - I don;t give too fiddly funks. I am saddened, ashamed, and only he is not well - but I could stab him. Desky you have it easy. I am on my own dealing with sh t. Though too embarassed to talk to my bestest bestest best friend - too ashamed.

[Ric.ror]

Oh con I am so sorry to read your post
You sound like a saint and I am sure your nephews will always remember your kindness to your brother too
There are so many questions I would like to ask but maybe now you shoul try to get a little sleep
Things will look a little better after that I am sure
Sending you a big hug

[~Wingnut~]

Oh Connemmara I just want to give you a big hug! Has he always been like this? The only reason I ask is my husband has health problems and has been in and out of hospital all his life. He tries to live a 'normal' life but when health issues arise a different person seems to take over. He becomes a bit arrogant (although not intentionally rude) but I think its his frustrated way of coping and trying to take some sort of control of something he will never be able to.

You are an angel for what you have done for him and you have done that out of love, you have every right to feel hurt and angry at his behaviour. Don't let him not know how you are feeling and try to have him realise just what you have done for him and his sons. I suspect you have been there for him and your nephews alot since his wife and son died and he has taken this for granted and come to expect it, whilst not acknowledging your own health problems and how you put them to the side to be there for him.

I hope you have slept on it and feel better about it all today. Maybe consider confiding in your friend as im sure they would not want you feeling this way and would want to help support you, even if its just for you to let off steam xx

[anneasquith]

conn, I hope you got some sleep following your post.

[askyourgran]

Conne, how sad for you, there are so may ungrateful people around who think the world owes them a living. Please don't feel bad you have done everything a sister should. If I were you I would have a serious word with him, quietly dont lose your temper. Tell him that you think of his attitude, and that he should be grateful to the hospital instead of being rude and taking things for granted. If the worse comes to the worse his sons should be quite old enough to cope for themselves and come and visit you.

[pusskin]

it saddens me to know that you are feeling so down conne, and have been kept awake all night worrying and feeling so bad.
I hope all this unpleasantness is soon well behind you, Take care x

[Connemmara]

Good morning all - sorry for the long-winded post and I truly didn't want to mention money and all what I had done but I did say it and meant it - because my nephew was murdered and the mother died of a broken heart 2 years later I know my brother received a lot of help ie money from different funding and of course (I know he did not get much) ie £7,000 for his son - however, he went on to receive benefits and to be quite honest - whilst he made a bit of food for the kids and clothed them - he drank and gambled the lot. There should be no bookies - Paddy Power or as we have Sean Graham here - by Gawd received £1,000s from him - it certainly never went into luxuries towards the home. This is what has annoyed me to the max. Yes Wingnut - his attitude is the world owes me a living. One of you suggested having a quiet word - you really couldn't - he must must must have the last word. When I visited him (for talks sake) I was telling him to be appreciative for everything that was being done and told him that he would be paying £1,000s in America (if had had no insurance) it runs off him like a water of a duck and he said to me "are you talking to me like a doctor" - Yes to another posting - was always like that. You know I had very mild and strict parents who would have put him in his place. The youngest was 5 years old when this all happened and I never miss them at Christmas or birthdays until they turned 21 - sorry but I am still hurt. As my sister said my other brother who died last year when he left hospital with appointments etc- he would get a taxi - bring up bottles of wine, biscuits, chocolates for the nurses. Nothing in this guy. Some of you wanted to ask me questions - go ahead - cos I am glad to vent my anger on this site - and no, will never tell anybody. I live on my own as you know and I am sure the families on the cul-de-sac that lady is so lucky - cos she has no cares and woes. Aren't they wrong?

[Connemmara]

sorry that was long winded too - forgive me

[Connemmara]

would like to say in his defence - that he is a very embarrased and proud man - and I know that "attack is the best means of defence" that is all I can say mind you.

[sandyRoe]

Conne, this site would be a poorer place if people couldn't let off steam when they felt the need.
Re your brother, being ill can be very stressful and that can bring out the worst of us.

[Connemmara]

thanks Sandy but no call for being ignoramus

[Ric.ror]

Conne - I do hope you are feeling better today
How old are your brothers children?

[Connemmara]

34, 32, 30 26 and the one who was murdered was 15 at the time. I probably can take a guess as to the fact they are "old" and do have wives - but my brother over the years wouldn't let any of the wives girlfriends in to clean for him - plus because of his sickness - he was entitled to homehelp. He is a
bl dy hopeless cause. He wouldn't think so of course. The lads are very good to him re visiting him in hospital and taxiing him here and there but that is as far as it goes.

[anneasquith]

this whole issue obviously upsets you very much conn. but at least the boys are up and independent, and its true some people don't know when they are '' well off' I know he is your brother , but maybe take a step back for a while. take care . anne.

[Connemmara]

anne I am and will be taking a very big step back - I have done everything and definitely won't be doing any more.

[anneasquith]

good decision. conn.

[Connemmara]

I would like to mention I am worried re the lad of 30 - he is hyper, can't relax, does have a little daughter but doesn't really get on with his girlfriend. We have so many suicides here and I do worry about that. Of all the sons my sister-in-law had - dont get me wrong she idolised them all but there was a bond between this 30 year old (he was 10 at the time) and her and I don't think he has ever got over her death.

[anneasquith]

will you keep in contact with your nephew ?

[jno]

Connemmara, I think you are right about attack being the best form of defence. I suspect he is being aggressive to cover up his own insecurities, which anyone would have after a stay in hospital.

Doesn't excuse rudeness to those who are doiing their job, but it would also be my guess at an explanation for it.