Have I Got A Mental Health Issue? I Dont Know What Is Normal.

[VictoryV]

Id like some help. I think I have a mental health problem but since I don't know what goes on inside everyone else head I don't know what is normal.
I seem to have a range of issues and symptoms.
I'm mildly OCD. I like order and patterns. I will count and add up any numbers I see.
I don't like to look at my own face in a mirror or on photos. Id call it facial dimorphia.
I'm a 44 year old male. I'm actually in Mensa but I cant apply my intelligence to anything that will have any benefit. I work in a manual job that I hold down ok but don't have the ability to apply my brains to do anything worthwhile.
I seem to have social anxiety. I get annoyed and frustrated whenever I talk to strangers. Also I am impatient with strangers to a degree where I constantly have to hold my frustration in check. This means i don't go out socially and this is making me isolated.
I think getting a girlfriend would help a lot but I cant motivate myself even to go on dating sites to look.
I generally have no motivation to do anything when I'm not at work and I am angry, confused and frustrated all the time.
Also there seems to be a constant fog in my mind where I have to push thru it just to look at a street or building. Its the same when I'm talking to someone. There seems to be a disconnect between what I'm looking at and me processing the image.
I do seem to have a quick mind but I cant use it to any usefully degree and its frustrating having it there but not seeing any results or benefit.
There you go. This text is longer than I would have liked but it only covers a small amount of my issues. Wish i could just take a magic pill and become the man I think I could be.
Any of this sound familiar to anyone?
Sorry if it sounds like im whining.

[ummmm]

Have you seen a doctor?

[VictoryV]

No. Im concerned I'll just be seen as foolish and be told to walk it or something.

[Prudie]

You need to pluck up and see a doctor. Answers on here in the main will be guessing. I'd guess a mixture of anxiety and depression plus being somewhere on the autistic spectrum. But I know nothing that qualifies me to say this.

[elliemay1]

How long have you felt like this?

[Myriad2112]

I think you sound quite normal. We are all a bit OCD about some things aren't we? I for one also find it difficult to concentrate either at work or in conversation unless it's about something interesting. I also found that I withdrew from any social life after finding myself married with a child and a mortgage and I'm often struggling to see what the point of it all is. If I had to put a label on it then I would say it's mild depression which again I think most people suffer from at some point.

[Mamyalynne]

I think lots of the things you mention are part of a larger picture and ideally you need to sit and discuss them with a professional. First port of call is your GP - trust me , you will not be thought foolish.

[VictoryV]

All my life but it seems to be getting worse as I get older. Anyone who sees me would think im completley normal as I make a deliberate effort to appear so.

[boxtops]

Print this off, so you don't have to say it all, and take it to your doctor. It may be that you are spending too much time mulling all this over...

Don't go on dating sites, go out and meet real people - that will help with the isolation and frustration when you are not working. Join anything, you need something to stretch your mind - evening classes start soon, anything to stimulate you mentally?

[ck1]

Sounds scary but get to the docs, I waited years before going to help myself with mental health issues, I've had a range of experiences from some doctors saying your a positive chap so keep smiling to others being really understanding and knowing what they're talking about. Although it seems like you're the only person who has ever gone to the doctors about this and feel you may be judged and ridiculed, for the docs it's just another day in the office, something they see many times a day. From experience I would recommend trying to see a female but this is just personal preference from the different GPs I've seen. What's the worst that's going to happen? You may come out with nothing, or you may come out with a plan that's going to get you back on track, happy at work, dating and putting your sharp mind to something productive. Has to start with a small step though, and that first one is the GP...

[elliemay1]

What was your relationship like with your parents/siblings when you were younger? Also, have you ever been in a meaningful relationship? Hope you don't think I'm being intrusive. I'm just trying to build up a picture of your life so far to see if it was anything in particular which triggered these feelings.

[ummmm]

I also think it sounds like depression with a few bits added in.

[VictoryV]

Thanks for the interest elliemay. Since you ask and Im being honest here I was raised it what can only be described as poverty. Im the youngest of 6. All unplanned. My dad was selfish and lazy and my mum was sickly, meek and beaten down by life. I was largley ignored by the eldest 4 but was very close to my sister who was the 2nd youngest. I could write a book about the things we didnt have.

[elliemay1]

Are you still close to your sister, Victor?

[AlwaysConfused]

I also have mild OCD, where I become a little anxious and frustrated if I don't do things in a set pattern, or that items, ie tins in the cupboard are not displayed 'brick wall' and all labels facing.

Although I deal with people aptly at work, I used to hate social occasions. I felt awkward and out of place. I learnt to smile at people and say hello, and found that conversations soon started flowing naturally.

Is your lack of motivation down to doing routine, repetitive work? Most people would become bored with a job that is too easy. It's like having to learning the alphabet day in day out when you already know it. It sounds as if you feel you have let yourself down by not having a career, something to focus on. But you are only 44. Spend a little time (after work) looking for something that will challenge you, whether another job or a hobby.

Also, take the advice of others and pop into your GP who will be more than understanding, with plenty of resources at hand. Perhaps sort through your present difficulties and then get out and find yourself the perfect partner. That way you will have something/someone to work towards.

[VictoryV]

Dont see my family that often ellie. Were all on facebook and we know where each other is if needed.

[VictoryV]

Thanks confused. I suppose I do wish Id had a career rather than just a job but its that problem that I cant use my intelligence to produce something usefull. My job Is manual but its actually quiet well paid so I cant complain about it really.

[elliemay1]

You sound intelligent to me and frustrated by the job you do. If you had a more fulfilling job I think that would be a start. I do agree with others that you should discuss your feelings with a professional and get it all sorted out in your mind. You are still relatively young and have so much to offer. You've taken the first step by expressing your feelings here so that's a positive.

[Scarlett]

I think you are in the wrong job too, and this job is frustrating you; it's making you too tired to want to socialise and in a rut. I got like this and after 12 years of doing the same thing just to pay the mortgage I jacked it all in and did my Masters. It was hard- I had to remortgage to pay for it. But I made new friends and I gave myself brain-ache on the MA! If you can leave it all behind- get a year off maybe, and do something new which will stretch you. You will find others like you and this will give you a new lease of life. Sounds like the old lease has expired and a change is needed.

[anneasquith]

what an excellent description you give of your feelings/situation. unfortunately mental health still has a stigma attached to it. as said above, present these facts/observations to your gp. and good luck.

[Old_Geezer]

Humph ! Been putting up with a lot of that myself for years and years. You sound mildly depressed to me. Probably in a rut and no longer have the enthusiasm to do anything about it. Suggest making your mind up to do something and go join a few social groups. Get yourself out of your comfort zone (not too far, but strangers need be no frustration, and practice makes perfect) and develop more interest in other folk and activities. It's no magic spell but I think it's a start. You either get yourself on an upward spiral, or stay on a downward one.