A Yang Without A Yin

[yinyang]

My 16 year old boy cat ,Yin, passed away peacefully on Sunday morning. It was very sudden but at least he was at home with ll of us and didn't seem to be in any distress. Still getting used to not having him around and there's been a lot of tears over the last couple of days.

His sister from the same litter, Yang, seems a bit agitated and keeps meowing at us as if she's asking where her brother is. I know animals don't grieve in the same way we do but is there any way we can help her settle with it? She did see and sniff Yin after he died but I don't know if that makes any difference. Our other cat, who we only got last year, doesn't seem at all bothered.

Any other ABers been through this with their cats that have been left behind?

[marval]

I haven't been through it, but I just wanted to how sorry I am to hear that.

[yinyang]

Thank you,Marval. He's missed terribly by all of us. I keep looking around for him too so can understand how Yang feels.

[jakep]

Animals do grieve and you did the correct thing for Yang to be with Yin after he died, that will help a lot as she should 'absorb' that he had gone. She is now showing the normal procedure of missing him, as are you. The rawness will pass and hopefully you will remember him with a smile in a while. My thoughts are with you.

[murraymints]

Sorry to hear your sad news...do you have something with his scent on to act as a comfort blanket ?

[wolf63]

Sorry to hear about your wee boy. Here is some information from a good website - http://www.icatcare.org/advice-centre/feline-bereavement

[pixie373]

Very sorry. We had a dog that kept looking around for the one that died. It was very sad, but she seemed to accept it after a while.

[yinyang]

Thank you for your kindness everybody.

Jakep, I'm glad you think that was the right thing to do. I had it in my head that I'd read it but wasn't sure.

Minty, Yin and Yang tended to sleep curled up on the sofa together so it would still have his scent but she seems to be avoiding it at the moment in favour of a cardboard box.

Thanks for the link, Wolf, I'll give it a full read through later. Excessive vocalisation does seem to be spot on and she was noisy enough to begin with!

I'm sure she will come to accept it and just make the most of bossing the other cat around. Yang is half his size and has a limp but can still send Shadow scurrying away from the food bowl to let her get his share.

[jasmin26]

So sorry to hear of your loss , having lost both my dogs over the last few months I really feel for you.

[yinyang]

Thank you jasmin. I'm sorry you've had to go through this too. Our furry friends do leave a real sense of loss when they go but the time we have with them makes it worth it.

[CatGirl4]

Animals do grieve but,it's impossible for us to communicate with them,to explain.Give her extra cuddles.x

[yinyang]

Thanks, catgirl. Yang isn't a very cuddly cat generally but she has come and sat on my knee a coup,e of times in the last few days so she must be needing some extra affection.

I've been worried that she seemed to be leaving a lot of food in her bowl and it was only this morning it occurred to me that I'm still putting out enough food for two cats ( Yin and Yang always ate together ad Shadow has a separate feeding place ) so the amount she's eating is perfectly fine.

[boxtops]

So sorry to hear, yinyang - but glad he didn't suffer.

Yes, cats do grieve, in their own way. I had litter brothers many years ago, and the one died at the vets - his brother wandered around lost for several weeks. He missed his brother. Yang may well come round and turn into a lapcat - in our experience, one cat often overshadows the other, although it's not evident at the time. Brother 2 really came out of his shell after Brother 1 had passed away. Wierdly, he died exactly a year later, on the same weekend... it was not a good weekend for us, each year.

Good luck to you all.

[yinyang]

It was the best way for him to go, Boxtops.

Sorry that you had to go through it twice and with such unfortunate timing.i know we'll have to go through this again when Yangs time comes so we'll just have to spoil her - and Shadow - while we have a chance.

[Barmaid]

I'm sorry to hear that yinyang.

I lost my old lady nearly 4 years ago. My other cat (ASBO) came and sniffed her after she had died and was quite "upset". He mooched around like a little lost thing for about 3 weeks and seemed to be looking for her and calling for her (despite the fact that she plainly despised him whilst she was alive). He's fine now. Little Yang WILL get over it - no animal really likes change but will adapt.

Cuddles to you and Yang.

[yinyang]

Thanks, BM, certainly true they don't like change - I've just had a major telling off for putting her water bowl in the wrong place! She'll be fine, I know.