To Make You Smile

[anaxcrosswords]

I love finding quotes – especially anonymous ones – which have a generous dollop of irony and/or sarcasm. My favourite from the last day or so:

Ladies, we guys are getting tired of you asking where all the ‘nice guys’ are. They’re in the friend zone, where you left them.

Do you have any that tickled you?

[Pete65]

No.

[stuey]

A man who owns a clock always knows the time: a man who owns two, is never quite sure.

[chaptazbru2]

I like that one anax. Don't know any myself, I'm afraid.

[Dizmo]

Stuey: Segal's law ;)

[Barsel]

When I was at the hospital one day, a man walked by with his leg and foot in plaster, using crutches.One of the nurses recognised him and asked, Hello, how are you? to which he replied, Oh you know, getting there! I don't think either of them realised how funny that was, but it made me smile. I was dying to say Yes, I'm sure you getting there.... slowly.

[stuey]

I wasn't aware of that, Dizmo: very interesting, thanks.

[shoota]

I asked a country gentleman in deepest rural Devon for directions to a tiny hamlet and he said:

'Go right and you can't go wrong.'

[welshtanner]

I was in hospital and a young man was being wheeled past with his leg in plaster. The porter said to him " Do you think that you will go up Snowdon again?".

[anaxcrosswords]

Welshtanner – not quite as ironic as you think. I snapped a femur when I fell off a rock climb and had a pin inserted. But I couldn’t wait for everything to heal properly so I could get back to the rock.
Before the accident, though, I’d been just as happy free climbing as roped. When I started climbing again I realised I’d lost nearly all of the cojones needed to tackle bold moves, and I gave up. That must be about 20 years ago and I’ve never climbed since.
Still, if anyone had asked me (in hospital) if I’d go climbing again I’d have given them an emphatic ‘yes’.

[-Talbot-]

stuey
A man who owns a clock always knows the time: a man who owns two, is never quite sure.


You must be well confused, stuey.

[stuey]

"Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?" Who sang that? Anyway Confusion say: "Time invented so everything not happen at once."

[Arksided]

"All seater stadia, the fans will never stand for it."

George Best

[Arksided]

A comedian I forget whom it was. on asking directions from an Irishman...

"oh you don't want to start from here..."

[stuey]

Talbot, "You must be well confused, stuey."... You can say that again:)

[cupid04]

Few women act their age;

Fewer men act it.