Overwhelmed

[jennyjoan]

Have got a bit overwhelmed with torturing myself of old issues and also thinking of what friends have been through and so positively. I wonder why I can't be positive with my past issues. I have been crying softly there but it has brought on a fierce nosebleed.

I worry about the past and I worry about the future of which I have no control but the future does frighten me.

I didn't want to ring friends up at this time of night - it wouldn't be fair - never the sick ones and and anyway aren't most sane people in bed by this time.

I just blew up mentally but have calmed down and the bleeding is subsiding - I just wonder what the funk is it all about. No wonder Yogi wouldn't invite me to his party - I couldn't blame him LOL.

Thanks for letting me talk and maybe getting it off my chest.

I always all my life always went over old old ground when I think of the risks I took, crashes I had, the shootings I had and more crashes - thank god never my fault. - but it has left me that I should have been far more badly injured. like walking with the shooting of the leg - coulda been my eye - my head, my back - spinally injured. It has been a long time since I have thought of all this but it just came gushed to the fore. All the deaths in the family young and old, and more to come.

Sorry for being morbid. Thanks for listening

[Mamyalynne]

It's not uncommon to dwell on the past or fear for the future when you are low - it's even tougher with no one there to share.

But you know here is always where someone will listen and simply putting your thoughts out can alleviate some of the pain.

If your mood is constantly low Jenny, please go and have a talk with GP.

[Mamyalynne]

By the way, it's not morbid it's just human.x

[jennyjoan]

thanks mamy - but usually when this thing dies down and it does take 4 weeks to get an appointment - I am usually pick up. Up and Down.

My friend rang me on Sat (the one with the one breast off and what has happened to her - in that her arm turned black and she had to back to surgery and remove a clot from the wound on the breast. And I just Go Jesus Christ I could not go through with she has been through. I do think on my own here I would be afraid of doing something more rash - I am definitely as positive as her - bubbly, effeverscent, sparkling on the phone- she floors me with that personality.

[tonyav]

jj, regarding the the past whats done is done no one can change their past so try not to dwell on it and no one can see into the future so there's no point worrying about something that may never happen.
( Anyhoo I'd invite you to an AB party ).

[jennyjoan]

NOT AS PERKY AS HER

[jennyjoan]

bUT tONY i REALY CRUCIFY MYSELF OVER IT - nAILIT WAS ASKING WHAT PEOPLE WOULD THINK OF HIM - I THINK IT ALL THE TIME

WHAT DO PEOPLE THINK OF ME - A HEADCASE OR WHAT

[Mamyalynne]

You're a wonderful friend but you can't take on the burden of everyone else's ills and pain - try to be upbeat a bit more.

Take Maxie out tomorrow, try to spot some snowdrops peeking through.

I do understand, trust me, I'm not a ray of sunshine all the time believe me.

[gness]

Conne....I'm sorry you're down.....do take Mamya's advice....see a doctor for a chat however long it takes.....
You're up a down lots these days so go....even if you're on an up....

But a warning! Don't go to a party with Tony......he pinches your drink and looks all innocent when you're searching for it!....☺

[jennyjoan]

gness you made me laugh a little - Tony can take all my drink at the party.

[anneasquith]

There is nothing better than a wee bubble, writing things down or posting here is good, JJ, just look at who has replied to you're post, only the better people in AB :-) I always think Maxie is so lucky to have you in his life .

[gness]

Lord no, Conne!!! Don't be giving him all your drink.......last time I did that he bent down and picked up a wasp......then was surprised when it stung him!

[jennyjoan]

you know it is seeen as a stigma if you have mental health probs - nobody in our "family" ever had them yeah right. so these were swept under the carpet so I can't ever show my true feelings re mental issues.

but thanks for the talks

[Mamyalynne]

Not any more JJ.

[woofgang]

JJ we all have our bad moments and our strange moments.....its worth talking to the doc about them even if you are feeling better when you get the appointment.....

[tonyav]

jj, has mamya and gness suggest it's probably a good idea to visit your GP about this.
Stop crucifying your self over things that you can't change.

And a warning, don't go to a party with gness. She sets wasps on you as revenge in the mistaken belief that someone nicked her drink !.

[jennyjoan]

In my family Mamy - YES

[gness]

It's not seen that way any more, Conne......lots of nice folk to chat to and to understand how you're feeling......

Although Anne declined my party invite.....wuss!..... ;-)

[tonyav]

No stigma, jj.

[Mamyalynne]

No disrespect but don't neglect your own well being for someone else's prejudices.

[gness]

Took me ages to train that wasp, Conne....... ;-)