Janet And John Go Shopping

[sunny-dave]

John has declared that Janet's leg needs professional attention ... Janet is resisting, but finally agrees at the point where John points out that they are nearly out of wine anyway.

1 : At the Pharmacy

Janet "My leg has been bitten - he didn't do it" [ points at John ]
Nice Young Pharmacist "Que?"
John "She has an insect bite - it may be septic"
NYP "Aha - let me look"
[ Janet hoicks leg onto counter - revealing more leg than strictly necessary ]
NYP "eeeekurhk - antibiotic cream I find for you"
[ NYP takes 10€ from John and massages cream into Janet's leg ]
Janet "That is much better - how often do I need you to do that?"
NYP points at John "Get him to do it three times a day"
[ see Janet grimace ]

2: At the Craft Market

Janet is distracted by crocheted owls and sundry other ethnic tat - John takes his chance and disappears to the tasting stalls ... medronho, port, wine and beer are 'tested'.

[ see John grin stupidly ]

.... to be continued ... much later ...

[sunny-dave]

... continued ...

Janet is feeling more herself after the ministrations of the Nice Young Pharmacist ... and has got stuck in to the wine that John bought from the Nice Old Vintner.

John has spotted that the wine is 16.5% alcohol ... Janet hasn't ... John opens a second bottle and twirls his metaphorical moustache ...

[murraymints]

John best not take advantage of strong alcohol and Janet's vulnerability , lest he wants conking ower the heid with emty bottle of said booze !! lol xx

[sunny-dave]

Awa und bile yer heid ....

[ I was told that is a friendly greeting amongst kilt botherers - I do hope I'm right? ]

[murraymints]

ACH awa wi' ye !

[gness]

Minty......Janet comes from a family who make their own poteen......she can cope with whatever John throws at her.....just don't let on..... ;-)

[murraymints]

nod nod wink wink !!

[anneasquith]

Hopefully John will remember where the cream has to be ministered after a glass or six of wine ?

[Tuvok]

Awa und bile yer heid

Simple translation (depending on context):

get lost

or

you're talking rubbish

or

I'm not going to do what you suggested

[gness]

You think Janet will let John anywhere near her leg after what he's been supping, Anne!!!!!

Janet hops back to the pharmacy...... :-)

[tonyav]

Of course he will, anne. Or the NYP will have to show him again tomorrow ;-)

[sunny-dave]

Bliss tonight ... a bowl of olives ... some sardine paste & crusty bread ... a selection of very interesting tapas (Janet says "What exactly is this, John?", John says "Something with tentacles") ... a bucket of excellent sangria ... and Bicas all round to finish.

Hic Burp Pardon

[tonyav]

Ah but has John remembered to rub that antibiotic cream into Janets leg ?.
Tentacles ( had to read that twice ).

[sunny-dave]

Yes - John has remembered - Janet now has a sticky ankle ...

[Jackdaw33]

See John smile.

(30 mins later)

See John vomit.

[jourdain2]

Can John actually identify which part of Janet's anatomy classifies as a leg (after all the 16%)? Very interesting...............

[tonyav]

... a bucket of excellent sangria ...


Mmmmm.... how big was this bucket Da errrrrrm John, was it kiddy sand castle making size or was it B&Q Orange bucket size ?.

[anneasquith]

You can get orange buckets at b&q for £1.!!!!!

[tonyav]

I know, anne. I have several.

[Mamyalynne]

Could Janet see her way clear to bringing me back a Crotch Owl?


Would be a nice playmate for Alfie.

[Jackdaw33]

What the hell is a crotch owl? Sounds very painful.