True? Or Cobblers?

[sunny-dave]

This is a piece from The Graun yesterday.

I read it with an increasing feeling of disquiet - and eventually decided that (even if there was a germ of truth somewhere in it) the whole article was a ridiculous conflation of half-truths, selective memories and plain falsehoods - cobbled together to fit a headline and an agenda.

But then I'm a man so "I would think that wouldn't I" ?

I'd be interested in other opinions - especially from female ABers ...

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/may/29/its-only-a-beer-the-unwritten-contracts-between-men-and-women?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Cheers (ahem)

SD xx

[Mamyalynne]

I agree Dave, a pudding a little over egged to fill the page.

We have all had a few experiences (men and women) rarely are they worth an article.

I realise some have had harder times than others - not discounting that .

[david small]

Life eh! What can you do? I know, grow a pair....

[kvalidir]

About 95 % of the interactions I have had with me have been absolutely fine, and the 5% that haven't have not by and large been a huge problem. I do know women who have been accosted, molested, assaulted and raped. I know one women this happens to with alarming regularity,and I am not in any way victim blaming anyone here because if that happens a lot that's terrible, but by and large I like to think most men are decent human beings and that has been my personal experience.

[hereIam]

Mmm I've never had an experience like that, nor do I know anybody who has, but maybe I'm in the minority, who knows !!

[sunny-dave]

I'm not denying that the scenario happens - just very sceptical about the frequency of it in the author's life and unhappy that (even if she is being truthful about her own experiences) she tars all men with the same brush.

Actually (thinking about it), I'd be particularly interested to know if any of the score or so people on here that I've bought a beer for over the years felt that I had this particular agenda - although (to be fair) most of them bought me a pint first, so perhaps I was the potential victim ...

[kvalidir]

If a man, any man, buys me a drink it never occurs to me that he's trying to make me feel obligated to sleep with him, I think that's frankly absurd, plus I'm always buying people of both sexes drinks so how does that reflect on me?

[aelmpvw]

dave, i can positively guarantee that if i ever buy you a pint there will be no strings attached ...

[gness]

Oh Guinness splutter, Ael....I was just about to answer but now I have to mop up the G......!.... :-)

[gness]

I can't say it's all cobblers, Dave....but my reading of it says that most of it is....
If a man followed me into my house at night and sat on my sofa I wouldn't be hanging about repeating myself....
The friend who's afraid when she hasn't got her keys ready could easily solve that.....and the mace??
I socialise frequently with a group of female friends......this has never entered the conversation....
When you're widowed there are...in my case two.....usually old men who are looking for a new wife/drudge and can't believe that you're not grateful for their offers now you're alone and can be a bit of a nuisance in their persistence......but that's the worst of my experiences....in all my now sixty eight years...
I can't think of one occasion when I've been bought a drink....or bought a man a drink that's it's been for anything other than having a drink together....

Nope....read it again and I believe little of it..x

[pastafreak]

If the author really has had so many bad experiences, I feel bad for her...and her seemingly bad luck. I don't doubt that some women do have more bad encounters than others...but why?

[rockyracoon]

I’m in the cobblers camp.

Whenever a man bought me a drink (which was very rare, as I don’t usually take drinks off strangers), I always bought him one back. So, I suppose that may have negated any expectations, if at all there were any.

[sunny-dave]

Beware of strange men on trains, rocky :+)

[rockyracoon]

Lol. I bought you one back, though. Didn’t I? ;)

[sunny-dave]

Indeed :+)

[Canary42]

Feminazi propaganda - which is a great shame because she thinks she is speaking for all women and as this thread is already showing, that's a load of cobblers.

Mind you, she is from USA with its pussy-grabbing President so that might explain it.

[Cloverjo]

I remember a time, years ago, when I accepted a drink from a man at a bar. A bit later, I went back to my friends and they couldn't believe I'd had drink from him and not gone off with him for the rest of the night.
In those days, we were all skint and had to get our money's worth.
I don't know what it's like out there nowadays. If I go out with a man it's my OH and friends usually, and the men fight over who's going to pay the bill. (They both want to.)

[Tilly2]

I read that with increasing ennui. Badly written tosh and silly, little, over the garden fence stories.

[gness]

Garden fence? More like bar stools, Tilly......."I've had more men hit on me that you have"..... type of bragging I think.....x

[Tilly2]

Bar stools is better, Gness. x

[gness]

It's a bit like when I go to toning tables, Tilly.....If A has an ailment...and most seem to....B will have it twice as bad....until C pipes up to top them.....
I'm surprised when we're all still alive at the end of a session.... :-)