An Australian Guy's Valentine (Allegedly)

[Canary42]

Of course I love ya darlin
You’re a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you’re gorgeous
I mean every single word
So ya bum is on the big side
I don’t mind a bit of flab
It means that when I’m ready
There’s somethin there to grab
So your belly isn’t flat no more
I tell ya, I don’t care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there
No Sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
Yours just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best
I’m tellin’ ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think its very sexy
That you’ve got dimples on ya thighs
I swear on me nanna’s grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get
No matter what u look like
I’ll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the football's on
And fetch another beer.

[beso]

Bird is not a common expression, at least in the part of Australia I live in.

We would say footy rather than fooball.

Fetch would be unusual.

[JimF]

It's also Irish, apparently!
https://allpoetry.com/poem/9638194--An-Irish-Love-Story-by-A-Celtic-Poet

I think not...

[gness]

Me neither, Jim. What Irish man drinks beer while watching football………beer?

[JimF]

None that I've ever met!

[gness]

:-)