Quizzes & Puzzles37 mins ago
Is my colleague an Alcoholic?
10 Answers
i think my colleague might have a drink problem. what do you think? if so what should i do about it?
Mr X, (my Colleague) is 24, married, has a good job, owns his own house and is bit of a party animal.
Two weeks before Christmas Mr X would go to the pub most lunchtimes & have a couple of pints, to get into the 'Christmas spirit'.Then we would all go out after work and have a couple of drinks, Mr X always be the last one to leave.
The week before Christmas, we all went out to the pub, and had 1 or 2 drinks maximum. Mr X came back two days in a row, fairly drunk, &said (jokingly) it was to take the edge off the afternoon. it was fine as it was Christmas week & everyone was relaxed.
Then over Christmas we all went out for drinks and Mr X was the last to leave, & wife (who also works here) said that he fell out of the cab.She said "it's good to let your hair down, especially at Christmas."
On thursday of this week i had a meeting with Mr X after lunch, & he smelt of alcohol, not beer but stronger, although difficult to be sure. After work we all went out to the pub for a birthday, & Mr X had 5 pints & 3 double JD's, over the course of an evening. I only noticed as most people are detoxing after Christmas, & Mr X was the only one drinking all night. His wife said that after the pub he had 1/2 bottle of wine, and a couple more Jack Daniels. She also said that "most nights he will have a bottle of wine, but it is with a meal so ok". his wife doesn't drink and doesn't think that there is anything wrong in having a bottle of wine a night. Then today he went to the pub for "lunch" and had 3 pints, and he said he is hitting the town tonight.
No one else at work is concerned, and his wife isn't worried. I am making too much of this, or do you think mr X has a problem? I don't know Mr X well enough to talk to him about it. What should i do?
Answers
1 to 10 of 10
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by ieatbees. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
First point - whatever you feel like doing under no circumstances get involved in this, nobody will thank you for it and it really is not your problem anyway, unless when he is ''under the influence'' he makes unwanted advances to you or something or drives when unsafe to do so.
If everybody else especially his wife sees no problem than why do you think you have special insight into the situation.
If everybody else especially his wife sees no problem than why do you think you have special insight into the situation.
I understand your concern, but it does sound as though Mr X is a heavy drinker, rather than having a problem. That's not to say that heavy drinking isn;t a problem, but it doesn't make him an alcoholic.
I would agree with the previous answers, you really can't get involved in this - but by all means keep an eye on his behaviour, but other than that, say and do nothing.
(Posted in 3 parts):
Mr X certainly wouldn't survive long with the company I work for. We occasionally have random drink/drug tests with the pass level for alcohol in the bloodstream being less than half of the legal drink-drive limit. Even contractors from other firms who drink alcohol at lunchtime are barred from the premises.
So what about Mr X's health? If, on the occasion you refer to, he had 5 pints of basic strength bitter, that would be 10 units of alcohol. I'll assume, however, that he was more likely to be drinking a 'premium' bitter or lager, so that brings it up to about 13.5 units. 3 double JD's used to be 6 units but since most pubs now serve 35cl measures (rather than 25cl) that's now about 8.5 units. (Total so far = 22 units). Half a bottle of wine probably accounts for another 5 units. (Running total = 27 units). The couple of JD's at home were probably larger than the pub doubles, so let's say 6 units for these. That makes 33 units in one night. The 'official' safe limit for an average male is a maximum of 21 units per week (with no more than 4 units in one day). This means that Mr X consumed 50% more than the weekly safe limit in a single day.
Mr X certainly wouldn't survive long with the company I work for. We occasionally have random drink/drug tests with the pass level for alcohol in the bloodstream being less than half of the legal drink-drive limit. Even contractors from other firms who drink alcohol at lunchtime are barred from the premises.
So what about Mr X's health? If, on the occasion you refer to, he had 5 pints of basic strength bitter, that would be 10 units of alcohol. I'll assume, however, that he was more likely to be drinking a 'premium' bitter or lager, so that brings it up to about 13.5 units. 3 double JD's used to be 6 units but since most pubs now serve 35cl measures (rather than 25cl) that's now about 8.5 units. (Total so far = 22 units). Half a bottle of wine probably accounts for another 5 units. (Running total = 27 units). The couple of JD's at home were probably larger than the pub doubles, so let's say 6 units for these. That makes 33 units in one night. The 'official' safe limit for an average male is a maximum of 21 units per week (with no more than 4 units in one day). This means that Mr X consumed 50% more than the weekly safe limit in a single day.
(2nd Part):
You say that Mr X drinks a bottle of wine each night. (That's about 10 units for most red wines). Alcohol is processed at different rates by different people's bodies but a good guideline - the one sometimes quoted by our company - is that you can estimate the time when your body is likely to have eliminated alcohol from the bloodstream by adding one hour to the time at which the last drink was consumed and then one additional hour per unit thereafter. This means that, if Mr X had his last glass of wine at 11.00p.m., his system wouldn't be free of alcohol until about 10.00a.m. If Mr X drives to work, there is a serious risk that he will be 'over the limit' on many, if not all, mornings.
You say that Mr X drinks a bottle of wine each night. (That's about 10 units for most red wines). Alcohol is processed at different rates by different people's bodies but a good guideline - the one sometimes quoted by our company - is that you can estimate the time when your body is likely to have eliminated alcohol from the bloodstream by adding one hour to the time at which the last drink was consumed and then one additional hour per unit thereafter. This means that, if Mr X had his last glass of wine at 11.00p.m., his system wouldn't be free of alcohol until about 10.00a.m. If Mr X drives to work, there is a serious risk that he will be 'over the limit' on many, if not all, mornings.
(Last part):
Using the same guidelines as above, if Mr X finishes his 3-pint (= 8 unit) lunch at 2.00p.m., his body won't be clear of alcohol until about 11.00p.m. If he drives home from work, at 5.00p.m., he will almost certainly be 'over the limit'.
Just a note about Mrs X's view that drinking with a meal is 'all right'. Contrary to popular opinion, food does not 'mop up' drink. If anything, it quickens the rate at which the alcohol is absorbed into the bloodstream and then slows the rate at which it is eliminated.
To return to original question: "Is Mr X an alcoholic?". There are various definitions of 'alcoholism' but it is often said that someone is an alcoholic if either
(i) consuming alcohol interferes with his/her normal daily life; or
(ii) withdrawing from alcohol affects his/her daily life.
If Mr X is regularly drinking three pints at lunchtime then it's almost bound to affect his efficiency in his post (so the first condition is met).
I'd also be prepared to bet that, if you forced Mr X to go all day without a drink, he'd become irritable and/or he'd have difficulty in getting to sleep. (So the second condition is met). So, yes, in my opinion he's 'suffering from an alcohol problem'. (I'd rather use that phrase as it simply defines a medical problem whereas the term 'alcoholic' seems to carry a stigma with it).
What should you do? That's up to you but some possibilities are:
(i) have a discrete word with Mr X's boss ;
(ii) speak to Mrs X again (if the opportunity arises), bringing to her attention the contents of this thread ;
(iii) print out this thread and send it to Mr X. (You can either send it anonymously but with a covering note saying 'I hate having to contact you this way but I'm genuinely concerned . . . ", or - if you've got the guts - send a similar, but signed, letter).
Chris
Using the same guidelines as above, if Mr X finishes his 3-pint (= 8 unit) lunch at 2.00p.m., his body won't be clear of alcohol until about 11.00p.m. If he drives home from work, at 5.00p.m., he will almost certainly be 'over the limit'.
Just a note about Mrs X's view that drinking with a meal is 'all right'. Contrary to popular opinion, food does not 'mop up' drink. If anything, it quickens the rate at which the alcohol is absorbed into the bloodstream and then slows the rate at which it is eliminated.
To return to original question: "Is Mr X an alcoholic?". There are various definitions of 'alcoholism' but it is often said that someone is an alcoholic if either
(i) consuming alcohol interferes with his/her normal daily life; or
(ii) withdrawing from alcohol affects his/her daily life.
If Mr X is regularly drinking three pints at lunchtime then it's almost bound to affect his efficiency in his post (so the first condition is met).
I'd also be prepared to bet that, if you forced Mr X to go all day without a drink, he'd become irritable and/or he'd have difficulty in getting to sleep. (So the second condition is met). So, yes, in my opinion he's 'suffering from an alcohol problem'. (I'd rather use that phrase as it simply defines a medical problem whereas the term 'alcoholic' seems to carry a stigma with it).
What should you do? That's up to you but some possibilities are:
(i) have a discrete word with Mr X's boss ;
(ii) speak to Mrs X again (if the opportunity arises), bringing to her attention the contents of this thread ;
(iii) print out this thread and send it to Mr X. (You can either send it anonymously but with a covering note saying 'I hate having to contact you this way but I'm genuinely concerned . . . ", or - if you've got the guts - send a similar, but signed, letter).
Chris
I agree that Mr X has a problem and he needs help. It is tempting to agree that, in your position, you should not get involved, but someone should do so. Perhaps one of his family - a brother or sister? Also, Mr X will have to accept his problem and be prepared to help himself, of course, because it will all be up to him ultimately.
His wife needs to be offered support because if she doesn't already see that her husband has a serious problem, she will wake up to reality one day. And it will also become her problem, and it will get worse for her as time goes on. The marriage will be increasingly at risk of breaking down.
In short, I'd say her future is as bleak as her husband's unless change takes place. If she doesn't face up to their problem and try to help her husband, she may end up not being able to endure the awful side to it all, and may cease to love him, and leave him in order to regain or preserve her sanity and an enjoyable life. Even if she does do her best, but fails, their marriage may still be doomed.
Sorry for the doom and gloom, but it is a tragic situation, as are so many in life.
His wife needs to be offered support because if she doesn't already see that her husband has a serious problem, she will wake up to reality one day. And it will also become her problem, and it will get worse for her as time goes on. The marriage will be increasingly at risk of breaking down.
In short, I'd say her future is as bleak as her husband's unless change takes place. If she doesn't face up to their problem and try to help her husband, she may end up not being able to endure the awful side to it all, and may cease to love him, and leave him in order to regain or preserve her sanity and an enjoyable life. Even if she does do her best, but fails, their marriage may still be doomed.
Sorry for the doom and gloom, but it is a tragic situation, as are so many in life.
Thanks for the information it is all very useful. I'm not going to do anything about it, i know it's not really any of my business.
However, it turns out that someone has put in a complaint about how Mr X was drunk when meeting some clients a few days ago. So hopefully this will help sort things out.
Thanks once again for your help.
1 to 10 of 10
