Is it just me?! any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[curious_cat]

Im relatively young and naive to relationships but i think i might love one of my friends. There was a time when i knew he cared about me as well but now im not sure. He had (and still has) a girlfriend who i told him to stay with because i didnt want to break up a relationship but then i started to feel awkward around him and it ended up with him gettin hurt and now i dont think he trusts me or even cares anymore. I miss him terribly and Ive tried to be build bridges with him because i want it to be how it was when we were close but im not sure it ever can be. This has been going on for over a year now and my best friends keep telling me that i should be over it by now... but i just cant stop thinking about him or caring! It seems quite a trivial problem but i feel quite alone in the matter and wanted to see if anyone else has been through the same thing just to reassure me that everything will be alright....i cant seem to move on because i compare others to him and i just cant find myself being attracted to anyone else. please help.

[Sasha13]

It seems you are confused about your feelings towards him - do you want him as a friend or something else - think about this very carefully before you take any action.

[curious_cat]

im definately confused and to be honest im not sure what i want... most of the time i think i romanticise all the memories i have of him and that in reality he is nowhere near what i want him to be but at the least i want us to be close again and at the most i want to be with him but i cant ever see that happening for one reason or another, i just have no idea how to get over this. thanks for caring enough to reply though =)

[curious_cat]

ps: i think i would still want him as a friend if that is all i can have because i just cant imagine my life without him in it...

[Sasha13]

If you're happy to have a relationship with him as a friend, then you should sit down and talk to him - tell him you're unhappy with how things have been for the past few months and you'd like to try to resolve it so you can move on without there being tension between you both.

IF however you want more (and I suspect you do), I would try to walk away. Avoid seeing him if you can for a while, go out with other friends and try to move on - you may be looking at this man with rose tinted glasses - because you can't have him, you think he's perfect and nothing or no one will compare. It's not true! I've been in this situation before and believe me it does get better, but it takes time.

Good luck x

[curious_cat]

it seems weird that everyone can tell you exactly how you feel and you never seem to realise it yourself. thanks sasha, its good to know that im not the only person that been through this..i was starting to think there was something wrong with me. ill try your advice and hopefully things will work themselves out xxxx