Still in touch with the ex

[Lezzel]

I split up with my ex 2 years this june. We were together for a couple of years (he left his gf to come with me - we had been seeing each other on the sligh for 2 years). We couldnt make it work and although we still had strong feelings it ended. Well ive met someone else and after a lot of up and downs we are making a go of it - he is away working just now at sea. Anyway, im still in touch with my ex (we are friends and he has a gf too). We have had "encounters" at the end of last year when I was single and he wasnt but whenever I talk about my bf he is always slagging him and calling him silly names. I asked him about it and he says he is only joking and that im taking it too seriously. I dont think he should do that - am i wrong? Why is he saying all this?!?

[4getmenot]

Coz he's a bloke and he can have a girlfriend but you cant have a bloke. Move on, if he says these things while you are with someone it really isnt fair. But he probably says it just to get you into bed because not meaning to sound nasty but you seem to give in quite easily, and quite recently too when he had a girlfriend. You tried it didnt work. Leave it. He's messing with your head.

[4getmenot]

Dont get me wrong that could have been me writing that apart from the bit about still being friends. I saw someone secretly, we saw eachother for 3 years but no commitment there and he messed me about, said our goodbyes. And I'm with someone new. But I made sure our goodbyes were exactly that. I wont meet up with him again. We text but thats the only way I know he wont get into my head again. He tries but as I said I'm with someone. Keep this man away from your relationship.

[Lezzel]

Im keeping him away from it - dont worry. My bf had only been away a week or so when he texted millions of times on fri night when he was hammered asking to come and see me. I said no - the first time ive said that to him and it felt good. the next day he did his usual - all the apologies under the sun and told me he didnt mean anything of what he said the night before. I think id believe him if it had only had happened once or twice but since we have been aprart thats happened 10 or 15 times. each time he retracts it all the next day. Ive decided to conctrate my my bf - i dont want to lose him again.

[4getmenot]

lose him again? how do you mean?? And this bloke is jealous but not because he likes you its because he aint No.1 anymore, so he texts to get back in your head and well it seems to be working. But you did the right thing not meeting up.

[Lezzel]

my bf and I have been together since i split from my ex. i wasnt that serious - he was. ended up he ended it as he was hurting too much. suited me for a while then realised what i had. so we have got together again and have made a proper committment. meanwhile the ex was always in the background. and if there was any chance that i could see him i always took it. until now - and i said no. Even before then he would slag my bf when he texted me. I said it wasnt on and he has stopped now. I think he has got the message!

thanks for your advice anyway - good to get someone else's persective on it !

[4getmenot]

lezzel you seem to have lived my life!! I too got with my now bloke years ago in between seeing the ex. And he dumped me because this other one was in the background. He's regretted it ever since and we got it together and I would never hurt him by going back to the ex, and I tell him that if he ever has doubts to speak to me first. Going really well, and I hope you 2 do too. xx

[Lezzel]

Ha ha - soo identical its spookie!! He said it was always living in the shadow of him and he couldnt keep doing it. Like you, I would never hurt him by doing something with the ex now which amazes me as i would have done something before. Glad its going well for you too. Good luck and thank you x