Jack & Jill

[wildwood]

Jackand Jill
went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
forgot her pill,
and now they have a son.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now itgoes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.

Mary had a littleskirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twassplit right up the front
....But she didn't wear that one often.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

[keithlbw]

Mary had a little lamb
her father had its mother
so the lamb that Mary had
was actually her brother.

[Ice.Maiden]

At least it's nice to have a bit of a laugh. Not bad, not bad.

[figure]

Alas! Change is good.


Hi Icey! hope you good xx

[JonnyBoy12]

Mary had a little lamb
It had a touch of cholic
She gave it brandy twice a day
And now it's an alcoholic.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jill forgot to take the Pill
And ended up with a daughter.

I know these are old ones, but they were not listed, so thought I would post them anyway.