Love/In Love

[LuckedOut]

I have been with my partner for nearly 7 years and we get on great, I love him dearly and I know he loves me. But I fond myself wondering these days if we are in love? He is the only man I have ever loved and I wonder what the difference is between being in love and loving someone, and if it makes a difference in relationship? I just dont want to make the rash decision of seperating if it doesnt warrant thinking about. There is an age difference and I am the younger one but I am 26. I just wonder if I missing something from my life when I see other couples together, we are nothing like them. I admit I am a hard person to get close to and I dont make it easy for him to love me but we do work together and have done until recently. Now I find myself wondering if im missing out or whether what I have is the real deal.

[Lakitu]

How do you know that the other couples you see are not putting it on a bit in public? I know several couples who have shocked me to the core by their split, when you would NEVER have thought they were having troubles just by observing their behaviour in public.

There's no way that any couple could maintain the 'honeymoon' period experienced during the first part of a relationship indefinately, life sees to that. That doesn't mean you stop loving one another though.

If you feel that you are missing out on anything, then why not talk to your partner about it? Personally, I find comminucation key to a good relationship and to leave him, which would be 'suddenly' from his point of view, is a little unfair?

What is it from 'life' you think you're missing out on? Holidays with your friends? Go on a holiday with your friends. Nights out separately from your partner? So go.

Do you still have barriers up with him that you define yourself as difficult to get close to? Do you know why? Could you talk to him about why this is the case and you can both take steps to rectify this? I too am difficult to get close to, I keep most people at arms length, the only person who knows me inside out and back to front is the man I love, so I do know where you're coming from there.

At the end of the day, hon, the grass may be greener on the other side, but it still needs to be cut.

[unhappychick]

Missing out on what? You have a partner that loves you and wants to be with you.....you mention about being in love, to be honest I think relationships go through phases of being relatively platonic or feelings of love, relationships dont stay exciting all the time especially when you have been with someone for so long, you get into the habit I suppose....you say you are a hard person to get close to, maybe you should try and drop your guard and allow him to get real close to you....you could always try and spice things up! Sounds like you have a good man.....dont let him go, I think you would end up regreting it!!!

[bms]

I'm willing to understand you clearly, what is it that you think is missing in your relationship? Or its just that you want to experience something new? May you please be more specific.

[andrea81]

In my opinion people take Love for granted and when in a relationship we do become complacent about being 'in love'. To put it in perspective for you...

I love my hubby very much and even though we love each other we do still argue and we still have differences of opinion as we are different people at the end of the day! But having just had another baby and having a difficult time in labour, my hubby was there for me and took care of me and I found myself being reminded just why I love him.

In other words, I always have loved him, just takes perspective to make you realise just how much!

Hope it helps ;0)

[DarkMajes71c]

i find i cant quantify love... if you can then your not in love and you just like someone all be it a lot or a little.
it is normal to think these things especilay when you have been with someone from such a young age... basicly you ask yourself is the grass greener on the other side of the fence... it usualy turns out it isnt and by then with relationships its usualy to late to turn back to what you once had.
dont go making a rash decision which you may regret for the rest of your life!! you were very lucky to find someone you love when you were so young and for it to have lasted 7 years that shows that you have found someone special. although if you feel that you have grown appart from your partner (which it doesnt sound like from you question) then you should other things.

good luck

DM