How to stop getting upset!

[CAJ1]

As some of you know my boyfriend is going away in january for a few months. If he talks to me about it I find it hard not to get upset, I really can't help it but I know I'm going to miss him soooo much! As cheesy as it sounds I love him that much that I don't know what I'll do without him. He has been there for me through a lot of things and I can't comprehend him not being here. How am I going to get through the run up and time when he's away?

[ummmm]

Why's he going away?

And where to?

[CAJ1]

He's going to Iraq as he's in the forces

[ummmm]

awwww. So have worry as well. Bless.

I don't know what to say really but let yourself get upset. It's the emotion you're feeling so there is no point holding it in.

[CAJ1]

But I don't want him to feel bad if I'm getting upset whenever he mentions it! I'm dreading the day he goes and have planned things with friends so I'm not by myself but its not the same as having him there!

[888sally888]

You wouldnt be human if you werent getting upset about it. He will still be there for you - can you use the internet to keep in touch? Just send lots of letters too and keep in touch as much as you can.

Maybe keep a diary for him for when he comes home. Try and surround yourself with family & friends for support.

And lastly be proud of him doing such an amazing job!

[ummmm]

If you do get upset just tell you don't want him to feel bad but it's just that you don't want him to be away and you can't help it.

How long have you been with him?

[CAJ1]

Yes he'll have internet so I'll email him. I'll probably write to him every day lol! A diary is a good idea, then I can share what I've done with him when he's back, plus it would mark off the days. I am so very proud of him.

[terambulan]

Cant you break his leg or arm.....he wont be able to go then!

Can he get a posting to a place you can accompany him.

If you got preggies he may be able to have paternal leave?

can he resign from the forces?

Buy him out of the forces; get a loan, he will then be forever indebted to you?

[ummmm]

^^^fool

Don't hide your emotions. They are what makes you you and it'll show him how much you love him.

[lindapinda]

You're bound to be upset and emotional coming up to his going,and cos he knows and loves you,he will understand that. You'll prob be a bit of mess when he leaves,but,thats only to be expected too...the unknown...you being without him...and him on active service...is something you can only begin to deal with when it happens....You will probably find you're much stronger than you ever thought you could be,cos you'll find the strength within you!..Best wishes to you both xx

[CAJ1]

I think he's giving it up after he's done 12 years terambulan, so theres a few more years to go yet and no I'm not going to get pregnant so he stays! He'd only get 2 weeks off for that anyway!

Thanks ummmm and lindapinda, I'm glad people understand, I was beginning to think I was a big waterworks and needed to try and stop it! I'm sure it'll be easier once he's gone because I'll just get on with it. The build up to it is worse I think

[ummmm]

You are more than welcome.

[lindapinda]

I've never been in your particular shoes caj,but,my nephew has served in Afghanistan. The family and friends worry etc..but,your boyfriend will be very busy doing the job he has trained for,and will look forward to your emails and fone convos that will bring back the "normality" that he's used to...Just be you..thats the best thing :-)

[terambulan]

I feel for you CAJ1 as have been thru same.....years & years ago.....Vietnam war!

[coccinelle]

Give youself a few goals while he's away with surprises for him to get back to, this makes the time go over more quickly. He'd find it strange if you didn't cry but make the most of it all while he's here and chin up and enjoy a great Christmas together.

[naflharrison]

as someone suggested a diary for yourself to keep while hes away, why not suggest that he keep a diary also so he can share his experiences with you. although it is hard on you that he will be away, it is also very hard on the soldier etc as they see so much. ive seen first hand how it can affect men and they can find it so difficult to relay their emotions of that back so a diary would help you understand any changes to him when he returns. hope all goes ok and he is returned to you safely.

[CAJ1]

Thank you for all your answers, its good to know people understand! I will seek out all of your advice when he's gone and I'm feeling down! :o)

[tufty7]

Sorry CAJ1, You will just have to get over it , thats his chosen vocation , and all of us hope everyone in the forces stay safe wherever they are , All you need to do is make the most of the time you have with him now before he goes and pardon the phrase , leave him begging for more , that should make him want to come home to you as quickly as possible , i expect he is looking forward to his time with his mates and will think everyday about you whilst he is away..........

[CAJ1]

He's not going with his mates tufty, he is the only one from his section going and is joining ones already out there. I'm sure he'll get to know them all though and don't worry, I'll make sure I give him somethibng to remember lol!