He says he 'used to be' in love with his friend - but they are STILL good friends, should I be worried?

[Tuesday83]

The guy I am dating says he 'used to be head over heels in love with his friend'. I asked him why they never got together and he said "because she has never been interested in me like that".

I asked him if he still had feelings for her and he shuffled a bit before saying no (with that "yeah maybe a little" look on his face).

I have done this before, dated - and then consequently fell for - someone who was in love with somebody else, and it hurt like hell.
If one day, this girl all of a sudden changes her mind and decides she DOES fancy him ans she does want to be with him, what's to say he won't just leave me? I'm not sure I could take that.

Should I get out now before that is even a possibility or should I accept that they are just friends, even though he clearly still has feelings for her.

[sara3]

tough one, but if he's not over her I think you're on to a loser here. sorry.

never be anyone's 2nd choice x

[Androcles]

Sara's right, you want him to be with you because he thinks it's the only place in the world he wants to be - if not forget it - somebody who thinks you are his world will come along. ... old romantic that I am!

[S_C]

if you think he has feelings for another , and by your own description regarding his " shuffled answer" then the answer is yes. Then he isnt free as in without feelings for another and this will mean that this " friend " will always be something for you to worry over " even if nothing happens " . The question is can You stand being in a relationship where your not totaly sure your the " other half's " most wanted .
Personaly i would walk away now , but thats me not you .

Only you can decide what action to take and if your prepaired to be unsure if you will come first always as regards to your partner , and its your feelings that will always be weighing up if your sure he considers you above all.

Hard one to answer but if you look inside and know you can or cannot be in such a relationship with / without such worries , you will be able to answer this qurestion yourself.

hope i have managed to elaborate what im trying to say here.

what ever you decide make sure its what You want and For Your best .

[nadcookie]

I couldnt stay in that type of situations, If you have no faith in it already and you dont fully trust his feelings for you, Dont bother always second guessing if your his second choice and if you will be pushed aside IF she ever changes her mind.

Sorry, But as the rest said.. Dont settle for second best.

x

[MarkRae]

Get out now before it's too late...