News0 min ago
Better watch what you ask retired people.
17 Answers
Funny Story:
Banned from the co-op Didn't like shopping there anyway
Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food
for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added
that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke
up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so
it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now
enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's elbow and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from the Co-op.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
Banned from the co-op Didn't like shopping there anyway
Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food
for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me
asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that
no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added
that I probably shouldn't, because I
ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke
up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so
it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now
enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an
Irish Setter's elbow and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.
I'm now banned from the Co-op.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
Answers
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That's the same as a joke I always bring out when I have a couple of glasses of wine. Woman is complaining that her sex life is non existant, she hears that dog food is a good aphrodisiac so she makes her husband a Pal pie, the Pal pie works wonders and she tells her friend how good it was, but unfortunately hubby dies. Friends asks if he died from heart attack due to too much excertion, no says she.... he was sitting in the road licking his dick when a car ran him over.
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