Is it wrong for a man to share his ex's bed (for sleep only) for 7 months after splitting up with her, and while he's seeing someone else?

[fire_opal]

My partner slept in his ex's bed for 7 months after splitting up with her, although he'd officially moved out and was living at his mothers. It wasn't continuously, but he stayed there for a week at a time, or as at Christmas (4 months after he'd split with her) he spent 21 nights out of 28 over the xmas/new year period at her house, sharing her bed (no sex apparently). The reason he gives is: it was to see his daughter (now aged 2), and he likes his sleep and doesn't 'do' settee's!
We have had many words over this, as I feel it really wasn't appropriate - he was staying at mine occasionally and we were already having a sexual relationship, and I had told him I really didn't like the fact he stayed there (particularly in her bed!!).
He thinks I'm loopy to mind that he stayed there, and seems to have no comprehension of how hurtful I found this at the time. I cannot explain rationally/calmly how this hurt me, as he flies off the handle, rants and raves and threatens to leave to go back to his mums (we've been living together for 8 months). In fact, he's apparently leaving this evening.
Am I wrong to think his behaviour was wrong? Am I loopy to find it hurtful?
Oh, I forgot to mention that his ex lives 4 miles away (20 miles from his mothers house). And while he was staying at his ex's, I was unable to have any contact with him whatsoever, as he turned his mobile off.
Sorry it's such a long message :(

[RATTER15]

Of course its wrong!!!! its rediculous!!!!

[murraymints]

mmmmmm....... you have not kicked him out yet...?...

[China Doll]

He stayed in her bed with no sex for seven months and you weren't able to contact him as he had his mobile off?! Mmmmm, how to say this tactfully... 'Wise up love!'

[ummmm]

It's more than wrong....

No sex.....yeah right!!

[Prudie]

It was all possibly OK till you said he switched his phone off. That clinched it, sorry

[4getmenot]

yep so wrong, and you wernt allowed to contact him. How did you know he shared her bed, did he tell you or did you find out. If the relationship means alot to you then if i were in your shoes i would be going round there and asking the ex some questions, you may find she doesnt even know you exist.

[DaisyNonna]

Fire opal. Read your own post.
What would be your reply if it had been posted by someone else?
He is not your partner. Send him back to his mum. He is definitely not mature enough to be let out into the world on his own.
Telling you that he shared his wife's bed is cruel. He rants. He raves. You are not loopy to find it hurtful, but but you will never be able to trust him.He is not worth loving.
Change the locks.

[craft1948]

My next door neighbour left his wife for a younger model. He used to come and stay over to see the kids, and he definitely was having sex with the ex-wife.

[seelie]

Another case for Jeremy Kyle !

[The-HouseHusband]

Now we know where all the gullible women are....

I wonder if he was spinning the same line to his so called EX while he was having a bit of fun round at fire_opals place!!!

Someone needs to wake up quickly and get rid of the rat before more harm is done....

[society]

You have surely been taken for a ride, my dear.

[The-HouseHusband]

craft you really shouldn't have that glass against the wall so often!!!

seelie I think this is far to simple for Jeremy Kyle, it would be a one minute slot of him telling the dozy lass to wake up and smell the coffee!!

[askyourgran]

Sorry but you really need to call it a day with him. Where is his ex sleeping while he is sleeping in her bed? Especially at Christmas. Is she so grateful that he is back at home or something that she'll 'do' settees? And why can't you contact him.
Is he living with you on a permanent basis or just using you for sex. It would be better to let him go back to his mother and try to sort things out with his wife and daughter. It is very hurtful for you. Tell him to come back when he gets his life in order.

[craft1948]

lol HH the ex-wife used to brag about it....poor cow!

[boxtops]

fire opal , I think you know inside that you are on a starter to nothing - tell him to sling his hooks. He's having his cake and eating it too, and you are worth more than this.

[sara3]

wow.. your first question was in 2003!

anyway, I agree with everyone else. he's playing you for a mug, sorry.

[4getmenot]

bit harsh house husband. Im sure many on here have made mistakes when following heart instead of head. I was cheated on but at time couldnt see it.

[starone]

I agree with all the above answers. Send him back to mummy - that's where he should be. He is too immature to be in a proper relationship and the quicker you get rid of him the better it will be for you. The only way you are loopy is that you are letting him get away with this behaviour.