re husdand left

[1963]

this is to reply i have been to cab, but they could not really help i have a mortgage which is high as we only justed moved, i work so can not get any help and he does not earn enough to pay it, i was going to pay all the bills and not go for maintance but that does not seem possible now,i have a laon in both names on house and loan in both names for windows, i agreed to pay his bills visa his loan which is only in his name, life insuracne that covers the mortgage, but as he has not earnt enough this month, i can't see how he has any money to live himself and pay the mortage loan and windows. we were doing up our house as it was in a state, carpets have already been paid off i just need to pay for the fitting. so i also need money for the repairs that he will not do anymore, its all abit of a mess. he thinks im having ago at him all the time and he is lying to me so much, that im not sure what the truth is anymore.my young daughter is so upset and crying for him so much it breaks my heart, my other daughter has gone so withdrawn, the school has contaced me, all the bills come to 600 without the mortgage loan and windows, thats every day bills, gas is 350 in the red and he has left me to pay it, the house old bills are in my name except the tv and telephone,and i have 4 children to fed and dress. i wish i could understand why he has done all this as i had now clue that there was anything wrong with our marriage he just woke up one saturday and said he is leaving, is the man mad????

[lazy daisy]

I could so easily have written what you have some 15 years ago when my partner left me. YOUR main priorities are mortgage and utility bills. FORGET about loans etc in HIS name, leave them for HIM to sort out. If you contact your gas supplier and other utility companies and explain I'm sure they will come to some arrangement with you. Your council tax bill should be reduced by 25% as you are the only adult in the house. Wow! I know thats not really going to help a lot, but it is something you should be aware of.
As for the children just try your best to explain whats happening. Tell them you haven't got much money. Most important...TELL THEM YOU LOV E THEM and that Daddy does too.
You could also contact a lone parent group such as Gingerbread they have a free phone advice number....If i can find it i will post it on here for you.
I know it's hard but hang in there----Life will improve it just might take a while.

[PinkFizz]

1963 - I have been in financial mess when I divorced but not to your extent.If you want to email me/msn me I will offer advice on what I did at the time.

[email protected]

[PinkFizz]

I would also say that you need to ring absolutely everybody you can from the bank to the electeic company and tell them what has happened.Do NOT pay his bills,they are not your responsibility.