Lochness Monster Moves South In Case Of Yes Vote Daily Mail Claims

[gordiescotland1]

Seriously the Daily Mail has claimed that Lochness Monster Moves South In Case Of Yes Vote. It has been seen in Lake District.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2752029/Another-blow-No-vote-First-banks-threaten-flee-independent-Scotland-appears-Loch-Ness-Monster-relocated-south-border.html

[pixie373]

Isn't that a swan?

[Obiter]

Lake Windermere Monster doesn't quite carry the same resonance.

[Mamyalynne]

Exactly what I thought Pixie.

[tonyav]

How come the swallows and amazons never spotted it.

[pixie373]

And "Lake Windermere Swan". Even less so ;-)

[agchristie]

Not the only myth we've heard during the campaign...

Somebodies 'kraken up'?

[jno]

Seriously the Daily Mail...

Now there's a sentence heading for disaster from the first words.

[wolf63]

This is just the English stealing something important to the Scots in retaliation for the Scots fans pinching the goal post (and a bit of turf) from Wembley back when I was a girl (no idea what year).

We want Nessie back

[sandyRoe]

Where would be a suitable site in England or Wales to release a flock of young haggis? If there was an embargo on their export from Scotland there'd need to be the prospect of a supply for Sassenachs who have developed a taste for it.

[agchristie]

You can't steal something that isn't real ;-)

[sandyRoe]

You could steal away if you wanted to avoid something unpleasant.

[Mamyalynne]

The West Pennine Moors would be ideal Sandy.

[sandyRoe]

Any heather on those moors, Mamya? The closer the new habitat replicated the old one, the better the chances the immature haggis would thrive and eventually breed.

[ladyalex]

There would have to be right handed hills too, remember, as haggises all have left legs shorter than right ones....

[sandyRoe]

And they thought it was hard to get the Edinburgh pandas to canoodle. That must have been a piece of cake compared to the problems to be faced in setting up a sustainable ex-pat haggis colony.

[ladyalex]

And there's the feedstuff to consider too.....is ther much salty porridge outside Scotland ?

[sandyRoe]

Salmond is both a reasonable and honourable man. I'm sure he'd be happy to put his name to a memorandum of understanding that would guarantee enough salty porridge would be exported to ensure the wee animals thrived

[ladyalex]

Well, I hope so, Sandy, as I would hate to see any Sassenachs haggis-deprived.

[ladyalex]

Another thought has struck me ....if Nessie is wandering south, will she be followed by an army of Tattie-bogles?
Now they would take some feeding....

[sandyRoe]

But no matter how well the West Pennine Moor Haggis did the connoisseurs would turn their noses up at it. "It's nothing like the Western Isles variety," they would say. "And shouldn't even be mentioned in the same breath as the Aviemore créme de la créme.