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Strange labour noises.
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Tonight on Big Brother , Davina McCall commented on the fact that someone in the crowd was mooing instead of booing and she said "That's what I do in labour" As I mentioned on here about 18 months ago , I shocked my hubby when at the height of a contraction near the end of my labour , instead of groaning I mooed - really loudly ! I was buzzing on gas and air and was so tired that I was drifting in and out of sleep (well , as much as you can in between contractions) and thought at one point that I was a cow in a field chewing grass - hence the mooing ! (Isn't gas and air magic ?!!) My midwife just laughed and said "Well that's a new one" and after DMs comment , I wondered if there are any fellow mooers on AB or what the strangest thing you've done in labour was or maybe someone you know did/said something strange. Come on , it can't just be me and Davina.
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All great answers. Lmao @ Noxlumos - that's a cracker. I can just imagine your face. You must have got the fright of your life ha ha ! At least us women have an idea of what's happening (cursing my hubby under my breath !) to us but it must be scary for men. Or at least it was for my hubby at birth number two when he leaned in to kiss me just as I got a contraction and as I reached out to him , the pain was too much and instead of grabbing his hand - which I meant to - I grabbed his chest and in particular his nipple , which I had a tight grip on. The midwife had to unclench my fingers and apparently I ripped out a few chest hairs. Oops.
Birth number one I thought I was at a Suede concert - I don't even like Suede but they were playing on the radio and I asked hubby if he had managed to get us front row seats. My midwife told me that I had the best seat in the house.
Birth number two I was forced into natural childbirth by two nasty midwifes who refused me pain relief from the start and made it a truly awful experience which I later reported them for. They gave me a telling off for grabbing hubby's chest - remarking that he would have no chest hair left at that rate and said that I was being a baby and that women in Africa would be ashamed of me because they can just 'squat by the road and give birth'. I pointed out that I wasn't IN Africa and didn't remember having said that in my birth plan that I would prefer to squat in the road. They also kept asking me to make tribal grunts (?) Bizarre !
Birth number three : Due to severe lack of gas and air in birth no 2, I gorged on the stuff to the point where I was nauseous , actually heard buzzing and felt as if I was under strobe lightning. My tongue went numb and felt like a lump of lead - try speaking after too much gas and air ! The mad drug induced hallucinations were fun oddly enough. I became so attached to my dummy ... er , mouthpiece, that even after I had given birth I was still merrily puffing away. My midwife told me that I could stop because I had HAD my baby and do you know , I was so out of it that I actually forgot. How bad is that ? So after 'one for the road' she prised it out of my hands. Man that stuff is good. I thought about smuggling out a cannister but I thought that a huge big cylander and mouthpiece might just be a bit noticeable.
Oh Dotty - a Harley. Lucky you - I would love a ride on a Harley , even if just in a dream. All i got n my dream was a lump of grass to chew on. Hmmm. I'm sensing some inequality here
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