Crosswords4 mins ago
New Pope
11 Answers
Who's it gonna be? Or does the role just defaulterize to George Dubya?
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jenstar - those public addresses should be fun.
"In nomine patris et filii et spiritus sancti...mais regardez - le singe est dans l'arbre"
brachiopod - another celebrity reality show? Papal Attraction, maybe? In recognition of political correctness, contestants would not need to be practising Catholics or indeed have any religious affiliation at all, although it would help if they have a new book or CD coming out soon. I predict the final four will be:
Geri Halliwell, who will drop out when someone tells the dirty old slap....erm, I mean charming young lady that the vow of celibacy is for life. This news is too distressing for Ms Halliwell, who was worried enough about staying vertical for the duration of the swearing-in ceremony.
Ex-Tory MP Neil Hamilton, who passes the celibacy test on the grounds that it's better than doing the horizontal tango with Christine again, but is kicked out for insisting on retaining his spotted bow tie as part of his papal garments and planning to award the post of chief advisor to his trusty teddy bear, Timbo.
Thinking man's Jordan, Carol Vorderman - passes most of the tests, including delivering the Easter message in 198 languages, but falls at the final hurdle when she can't bring herself to eat a wichity grub at holy communion. Also upsets the other contestants by spending her time trying to flog them loans they don't need and playing with large coloured bubbles.
Which leaves us with our new Pope - ladies and gentlemen, ex-Arsenal and England striker Ian Wright. Ian, henceforth renamed Pope John Paul Georgeandringo the First gives his first address, effortlessly translating "Yeh man, dis is well wicked man, know wot I mean?" into several languages, including Latin and Sanskrit, although he needs a bit of help with English.
"In nomine patris et filii et spiritus sancti...mais regardez - le singe est dans l'arbre"
brachiopod - another celebrity reality show? Papal Attraction, maybe? In recognition of political correctness, contestants would not need to be practising Catholics or indeed have any religious affiliation at all, although it would help if they have a new book or CD coming out soon. I predict the final four will be:
Geri Halliwell, who will drop out when someone tells the dirty old slap....erm, I mean charming young lady that the vow of celibacy is for life. This news is too distressing for Ms Halliwell, who was worried enough about staying vertical for the duration of the swearing-in ceremony.
Ex-Tory MP Neil Hamilton, who passes the celibacy test on the grounds that it's better than doing the horizontal tango with Christine again, but is kicked out for insisting on retaining his spotted bow tie as part of his papal garments and planning to award the post of chief advisor to his trusty teddy bear, Timbo.
Thinking man's Jordan, Carol Vorderman - passes most of the tests, including delivering the Easter message in 198 languages, but falls at the final hurdle when she can't bring herself to eat a wichity grub at holy communion. Also upsets the other contestants by spending her time trying to flog them loans they don't need and playing with large coloured bubbles.
Which leaves us with our new Pope - ladies and gentlemen, ex-Arsenal and England striker Ian Wright. Ian, henceforth renamed Pope John Paul Georgeandringo the First gives his first address, effortlessly translating "Yeh man, dis is well wicked man, know wot I mean?" into several languages, including Latin and Sanskrit, although he needs a bit of help with English.
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