summoned to court has driven me over the edge

[cherryblossom38]

I have recently ended a relationship that was abusive, the police had been called numerous times for his behaviour. I had regular conversations with a PC from the domestic abuse team so the police where aware of my situation.
In May the police were called again and my ex told them i had pushed him and broken his glasses, after statements were given I heard nothing more until 2weeks ago(2 and a half months later) the policewoman who took my statement in May showed up and she needed another statement because it had been lost in the system, I was ill when she appeared without warning and had great difficulty recalling the incident so before i had time to realise what was happening I admitted to pushing my ex and signed the statement(and the push was all i had done wrong-there was no violence)
After afew days the policewoman rang me to say i was being given a caution and needed to go to the station for fingertips, photo etc etc, I was distraught, I had been the victim and felt like i was being punished for my ex's actions, I then told her i was not accepting the caution, she then said she would ring me back in 10mins.......4 days later she was at my door at 11pm on a sunday night(unannouced and also waking my son!!) She told me i had to come the policestation at 8am friday morning to receive my caution for pushing ex, I was ill yesterday and i had no idea how to contact her to cancel, i did not even know her name...anyway to get the point she rang and said i had to be there at 3pm tomorrow(today)she was rude and was bullying me, and from what i can tell her superiors have been pushing her to close the case as it had been lossed in the system. Now i have no idea what to do

Well i never....after feeling liberated telling the police woman I am not accepting my caution......low and behold I receive a summons at the magistrates courts on the 6 sept for 'assult on 'victim' by beating him on the 13/5/11'.? I'm completely flabergasted and no words cannot describe the way i am feeling (out of all the anguish and pain i have been thro I have NEVER EVER felt suicidal as i know that no matter how u feel today tomo is another day and yr feelings r diferent...but today knocked me sideways and i seriously felt a thought 'what is the point anymore'? I'm tired, tired of fighting the mountain I everyday have to climb but only to realise every step i take feels like i'm climbing a sand dune n sinking slowly bkwards. My life has always been difficult, been no one year has gone without a hiccup (not talking yr average day to day issues)
If i knew i had done something that when i woke in the morning felt it was wrong and unacceptable then i wud b the 1st to hold my hands up and admit and appologise, but i know the incident that is taking me to court is something i will fight till i am blue in the face and never ever admit to believing i did wrong...I would be deceiving myself and accepting being guilty. I have been rummaging thro my paperwork n found letters addressed to my ex from the solictors he saw when arrested for assulting me over the last 18months, the things he has done to me is behond belief.... from strangling,kicking,spitting,pillow over face (list carries on). He was verbally abusive too. He has been arrested numerous times for the things he has done.....but becos he has the gift of the gag he wiggled his way out.....so here i am, no previous records or Mr meaners, being treated like a criminal for 'pushing' him ( I can assure all u sceptics out there that pushing is the only harm i caused. I have yet again been thrown in2 a position that i have no idea wot to do....I have no legal representation and I am on sick leave n in receipt of benefits.....who do i turn to? If any1 out there mayb of assistance it wud be grafefully accepted (may i ask only people with knowledgable and beneficial info pls reply)
many tnx :)

[exdc]

Hi cherryblossom

Who called the police to this incident?.

Basically, a solicitor will need to examine the file of evidence to advise you properly etc. If you look online for local criminial law solicitors they will state whether they accept 'legal aid cases', then you can enquire whether you qualify.

[factor-fiction]

Hi cherryblossom39. Yes, for legal advice you should speak to your solicitor or if you don't have legal representation yet do as exdc suggests.
If you have concerns about your health or mental wellbeing then you need to speak to someone you can trust, and to your doctor. If necessary groups such as the Samaritans

[boxtops]

This is the earlier post from cherry - lots of advice on here http://www.theanswerb.../Question1046634.html