Are we making the right decision here?

[saxy_jag]

After much persuasion, my eighty-year-old Mum has (or so we had thought) seen sense and asked to take on her dangerously overweight Jack Russell Terrier for a while (possibly permanently) to get his weight down and give him a more normal life. She's housebound and therefore so was he - never got out and never mixed with any dogs other than my girl. His weight is now at 42lbs. Mum has early stage Alzheimer's and understands the problem one minute, but then refuses to acknowledge it the next time you speak to her.

He's settled in well (he's always happy to come to us), but after less than a day Mum has phoned to say she's missing him, she's going 'spare' without having him around to talk to, and is demanding him back. OH and I are trying to stall for a couple of days just to see if she comes round to the idea again, but we're really reluctant to send him back to what I know is going to be certain death by 'kindness'. At the same time, I'm thinking of Mum's mental health as it's already in a fairly delicate state (she's in the middle of an ongoing psych assessment). Are we doing the right thing in insisting the dog stays with us for at least a few weeks?

[Mosaic]

If the dog's her daily companion it seems equally cruel for her not to see him. Why not walk him round there every day as part of his new regime? Failing that, sad as it is, I would say her emotional needs come before the dog's diet. Sorry to sound harsh.

[saxy_jag]

Walking him round there isn't possible - she lives five miles away from us. We are planning to take him there at weekends, possibly to stay over for a couple of days.

Moreover my OH, sister and I are all finding it very difficult to allow the dog to continue to be abused in this way. He's so fat he can barely walk a few yards without getting completely out of breath. I'm not just talking a few pounds here - the dog is dangerously obese!

Mum would also like to move house, possibly into sheltered housing, and it's very likely she wouldn't be able to keep the dog in any case - that's if he survives that long.

[ruthann58]

try getting in touch with the cinnamon trust they have volunteers all over the country who help out with dog walking , fostering etc , for owners who are house bound ,in hospital or in a home ,they might have some who could walk mums dog for her so that she could keep it with her for the time being , until she has been assesed and her long term care decided,

[wolf63]

A couple of years back I was looking for voluntary work and discovered that, at the time, the WRVS do visits to people and walk dogs etc. If he got a decent each day it might help with his weight.

Or, if money isn't too much of an issue, a dog walker could drag him out for a walk each day.

If my calculations are correct he weighs three and a bit cats. ;-(

[ladybirder]

Hi saxy, I think you are doing the right thing by keeping the dog because it will die if it goes back to your mother and she wouldn't want that would she? Your mother could be banned from keeping dogs for allowing him to become obese if somebody tells the RSPCA. Have a look at the link i have posted o a case where this happened. It is cruel to treat a dog like this so I think you must keep him and take him to see your mother but don't leave him there. I hope he has some happy years with you as he doesn't appear to have had a very good life so far. And if your mother loves her dog she will see that this is the best thing for him and she should be happy you are taking him on and that she will still see him. Hard for her at first but if she can't care for him properly .........

[ladybirder]

Sorry, here's the link.

http://www.politics.c...r-allowing-dog-to-bec

[saxy_jag]

This, Ladybirder, is the tack we're currently taking. I'm having to get my OH to keep drumming it in though, because he's the only one she'll listen to.

Getting others to exercise the dog isn't easy because he doesn't like people very much. He can be quite unpredictable and will go for ankles or other small dogs without any obvious provocation. Mum's not exacty discouraged him in this - she thinks it's funny and doesn't matter, even though he's bitten her carers on three occasions. Quite honestly, she's lucky they haven't sued. He's OK with us because he knows us but he never has a chance to get to know others because he's always locked in his cage when people visit. OH, sis and I are all used to difficult dogs so that side of it doesn't phase us, but it would most likely preclude any volunteers.

Wolf, I wouldn't know about cats but he weighs about three and half healthy Jack Russells (average weight 12-15lbs). That's about the equivalent of a 5'6" human weighing 50 or 60 stone.

[sara3]

saxy.. it's tough but I think you're doing the right thing. best of luck.

[divegirl]

Hi. I too agree that you are doing the right thing. I know it must be awful when your Mum asks for him back but as you have mentioned she is in the early stages of dementia you will have to stand your ground. Sounds like you have it pretty well thought out and as long as your husband can keep up with the reassurance hopefully she'll come round in the end.
Good luck with the doggy dieting!

Lisa x

[boxtops]

It's a really hard one and I am sure that your mum is missing her companion, but I think you are doing the right thing. It sounds as if their companionship was based on food and treats - and you're doing him a favour getting him to socialise and eat a healthier diet. How old is he?

[saxy_jag]

He's only 10, so should have a good few years in him yet provided we can get his weight down.

[jules77]

My mother has Alzheimers, she is in the latter stages, so I know what you are going through. As someone has suggested, I would take the dog round to see her, but insist he must stop with you. If he continues to put on weight, he wont be around for much longer and she wont be able to see him at all.

[pamweld]

Think you are doing the right thing here, perhaps you could have joint custody of the dog, 2 days with your mam and you have him the rest of the week, once he gets more energetic with weight loss she mightn't want him as much as he wont just sit by her side and listen anymore and he'll be into mischief at bit more so she might see him as a bit of a hindrence

[Epinephrine]

I feel for you and your situation, i really do.
I do believe wholeheartedly however, that you are doing the right thing for this animal.
this dog needs to lose weight and if you are able to exercise him and feed him correctly then great.He is your mums companion though and she must miss him terribly.
The cinnamon trust are a great organisation, someone else has mentioned them and they might be worth contacting for advice.

[owdhamer]

Have you thought about contacting an animal charity to see if they have a neglected under nourished dog that needs some tlc, a short term solution i know, but could be helpful

[JonnyBoy12]

Was just about to ask what a normal Jack Russell weighs but seen you have done this for me. 3 and a half times the normal weight is certainly cause for concern. I do not know what to suggest apart from a crash diet.