My 18yr old son wants....

[kat2206]

A baby with his girlfriend... They have only been together for approx 5 months for goodness sake. They are both 18yrs old, my son works full time and his girlfriend works part time but also goes to college.

My son is in the process of applying to join the Forces, if they get pregnant, this will all stop.

At present, my son still lives with me and his girlfriend is coming over tonight so I think a talk is in order but personally I think it will fall on deaf ears.

Why can't they just wait until he is settled and is financially stable enough to bring a baby into this world, if they are serious enough to want to be together long term then I can't see why they can't wait just a little longer.

I'm have googled, without any luck, as to where I can get hold of these life like doll/babies so they can have a few days/ week with it and then see what happens thereafter as I'm sure their minds will surely change then.

I'm at my wits end!!!

[boxtops]

I wonder why they want a child, with all the commitment and lack of being able to go out because they have a baby at home etc..... have they thought of that?

[kat2206]

No, I don't think they have to be honest but they will hear it tonight! They have a very "full" social life, do they honestly think that this will continue if they bring a child into the world? I am so cross!

[zebo]

Make it very clear that you are not available as a free child minder and will only baby-sit on the odd occasion, irrespective of what you really might think!

[boxtops]

Where will they live, how will they fund all the things a baby needs? It said on Superscrimpers last night that a child costs £200,000 from birth to majority.

[missprim]

Do you think they will tell you if they both want a baby or is it mainly the girl's idea?
I would ask your son when you have him on his own to see who suggested it.

[sherrardk]

Here you go - http://www.ebay.co.uk...ver+doll&geo_id=32091

They're not cheap but way cheaper than the real thing!

[kat2206]

They both definately want it, as he came back from spending a weekend with her and he told me that they were disappointed that she had started her period as she had been a week late!!

[waterlocke22]

Sounds ridiculous but tell them to get a dog first.. Me and my boyfriend got a puppy 3 months ago and we never realized how much hard work it is, it's worse than having a child! We definitely will not be having kids anytime soon! Puppies need so much attention and cannot be left alone for long periods of time straight away, we didn't realize how much we'd have to plan ahead just to arrange for someone to watch him for a few hours while we do some shopping! We love Cody to bits and know he is our responsibility but some people just don't understand how much of a commitment these things are, and a baby is 1000 times harder than this. Just after we got our pup my friend told me how she and her boyfriend had spoke about having a baby, i told her to get a dog, she did and I saw her two weeks ago and she now says she never wants kids. Worked a treat!

[kat2206]

Thing is, they don't even live together, yes, they spend a lot of time together but that's nothing compared to being together 24/7. I'm just hoping that they will listen and take it in when I speak with them...

[mike11111]

This might sound a tad old-fashioned, but might I suggest marriage first, baby later.

[kat2206]

Exactly, Mike! He really has set his mind into joining the Forces, I really don't think his girlfriend would be too happy holding the baby while he is in training etc...

[JonnyBoy12]

Speak to your local school and see if you can borrow their life like doll baby. They are so demanding and realistic that people have been put off kids for life by them.

I was put off kids for life years ago so do not need one!

[kat2206]

Hiya, that's exactly what I'm looking into, either that or buy them one.

[kat2206]

I managed to find a "baby think it over"to hire... Will be calling them first thing in the morning!

[lozzer50]

it would be such a shame if they did get pregnant because at the end of the day a baby cannot be given back, have they really thought about it?hopefully for them it is just a whim but if it isnt i think it might help if they could speak to someone who has had a baby at a young age so that they could witness first hand that its not all kisses and cuddles but a hellova lot of work.

[kat2206]

That's a great idea Lozzer I may just look into that... In the meantime I will look at hiring one those "think it over" babies, they just may sway them when it cries in the night etc... Here's hoping!

[B00]

Please don't listen to waterlocks advice and tell them to get a dog instead! Don't see why a dog should be any less well thought out than a baby.

[Prudie]

A couple of episodes of 'one born every minute' might help too. It's quite unusual for both partners of that age to want to start a family. I know it does work but statistically very few people remain with the person they loved at 18.

[NOX]

I think if you try to have a 'talk' with your son, you might come off as though you are treating him like a child, which at 18 he isn't he's a young adult. Whilst it might not be your idea of ideal, I think that you will have to accept that they will make the decision that they consider right for them and that if you persist in thinking it's a terrible idea you might alienate yourself from them, so I'd tread very carefully if I were you.

[kat2206]

I do tend to agree with you Nox, however, if I don't say anything then I will feel like I have failed (in a way) to give them both my opinion/ experience etc..

I had my first child out of wedlock and then when I did meet my husband ( divorced since 1998) he was in the military and it was hard being an MOD wife.