Health anxiety, what the heck is going on with me!?

[genstm1980]

First off sorry for very long winded question, but here we go!

Never had anxiety before until I had my second child 2 years ago - at the time I had little bit of baby blues and also a nasty infection after caesarean. The anxiety cleared up once I was physically on the mend and I've been ok ever since . . . until a month ago. Don't know what happened, had some twinges in my chest that felt like pulled muscle but got myself all wound up thinking it must be a heart attack (I had no other symptoms and didn't hurt so much as cause discomfort). Anyway went to GP and they did blood test and all ok but ever since then it's like something has shifted in my head. Every twinge or bodily sensation makes me think there's something nasty wrong with me, I keep thinking of negative and unpleasant past events and worrying/obsessing over my own mortality. I feel as though I can't cope with the children (age 2 and 3) even though I can,I love them to pieces and they're really the main thing to keep me going! I can't wait to get to bed as feel physically drained and when I wake up I start fretting all over again though it does tend to wear off during the day.

I'm off work at the mo for two weeks due to being so anxious and I am getting all wound up thinking I have to get better in time to get back to work. I did start to feel a bit better last week - I was able to spend more time on my own, I was thinking less negatively and felt less full of dread plus my appetite was coming back but I've since picked up a minor bug that's making me a bit nauseous and even though the rational part of me knows its nothing more than a bug (my daughter is also a bit off colour), the anxiety is sneaking back in and filling me with angst!

I'm frightened that this is it for me now - am I destined to be forever walking on eggshells and feeling so scared?! I've had various blood tests through GP and everything seems ok physically. I have a lovely husband, supportive extended family (though they live far away) and wonderful children. I like my job, I like my colleagues, I have no important financial or other worries so why the hell am I like this and how do I shake it off??

Thanks in advance to any decent replies x

[ladyalex]

Sounds like a wee bit of depression...you can get post natal depression quite a while after the birth.
It will resolve....eventually.
There is nothing you are doing to make yourself this way and having supportive family etc etc is wonderful but sadly does not prevent depression.
Have another word with your GP, perhaps get some more time off work , maybe even consider antidepressants.
This will pass, so hang in there.

[Mamyalynne]

Anxiety is very real, that is the first thing to accept - now your GP has cleared up any potential physical problems, you need to tell him/her exactly what you have told us. There is help out there and with assistance you can get back to your more confident self.

Lots of helpful sites too, with helplines and forums to discuss. I do understand, have felt that dread and panic, it can be sorted.

Good luck.

[Mosaic]

I agree with Ladyalex - emotional upset can be triggered long after the event in which the damage was inflicted - a kind of delayed post-traumatic syndrome. So this might be related to hormonal upheaval combined with the added responsibilities of more children, or might have its roots elsewhere in your past.

So why not get an appt to explain how you are feeling emotionally to your GP and ask to be put in touch with someone who can talk this through with you.

I recall long-buried issues surfacing when I had my first child, and even now decades on these can resurface.

Facing your hidden fear, naming it and showing it your backside are part of getting better.

[Gavmacp]

Hi genstm,
Had anxiety for quite a while. Found someone that did EFT (emotional freedom therapy). It worked for me. There is something on YouTube but would recommend you find someone that practices it.
Much love,
Gavin

[genstm1980]

thanks everyone for the good advice - I will def look into EFT, thought couselling might be the way to go as i do seem to have got a bit messed up following my son's birth. . . anyay hope it works well for you too Gavin x