AB Lonely Hearts Adverts

[mrs_overall]

Gentleman of a certain age seeks female Daily Mail reader. Must have own highlighter pen.

Male, Mafioso lookalike with own hair and some teeth, seeks lady who enjoys outings on a moped.

Slightly unethical business lady seeks male for friendship. Must have an interest in all things nautical (mainly pedalloes).

Lady wrestler with homely features seeks male of any age who is still drawing breath. Must have own teeth, all four limbs and be able to eat without drooling. (I am willing to compromise on the teeth and limbs.)

Vertically challenged lady with own wetroom seeks gentleman friend to add to portfolio. Must be under 5ft tall and be able to lift heavy postal sacks.

Successful businessman with own plumbing empire, Brad Pitt lookalike, snappy dresser with sparkling personality and own luxury transport seeks lady for no strings fun. (No goat keepers need apply)

Part time butler and crossword expert seeks lady for friendship, maybe more. Must have own coat.

Impoverished genteel titled lady seeks rich gentleman to provide her with the finer things in life and whisk her away from the charity shop.

Lady of Irish origin, enjoys an occasional drink, seeks gentleman friend. Must have own disaster insurance policy in force.

[sunny-dave]

You forgot to add ... "Please send photo of moped"

[mrs_overall]

Dammit, so I did!

[flump1]

Mrs O , you are a gem x

[Psybbo]

Thank gawd you're back, how are you and why have you forgotten my ad? Brilliant again, by the way xxxx

[mrs_overall]

Hello all, I have missed you.
I have a few more ideas up my sleeve....be afraid lol

[McMouse]

Adventurous== Slept with everyone
Athletic--=== Flat chested
Compassionate == Cries all the time
Considerate--== Neurotic
Contagious smile-- did too much coke in the eighties
Highly educated== Left school at 16.
Light drinker== Drinks all time while daylight
Emotionally secure=== Spends at least £150 a week on therapy
Fun loving=== Loud and annoying
generous=== Broke
New age== Never waxes
Open minded== Desperate
Outgoing=== Embarrassing
Passionate==== Drunk
seeks soul mate-- Stalker
Spontaneous-- ==Always late
Tactile== Needy
Voluptuous== Fat
Warm== Mustachioed
Zany--== heather mills on wheels

[cupid04]

Hello mrs, o. A few abers have been worried about you as you've been conspicuous by your absence. We thought you might be busy writing another of your aber stories or out buying marigolds!

[mrs_overall]

Brilliant mcmouse, absolute brilliant!

[mrs_overall]

Thanks cupid.
I AM now well stocked with marigolds should I be snowed in over the winter

[Lie-in King]

Ah, Mrs O - you've been missed :-))

[Psybbo]

Crikey, what an honour^^^

[mrs_overall]

Thank you LIK

Maybe your aim will be better next time? lol

[McMouse]

And there's always:

'Woman, 36, would like to meet a man who doesn’t try to high-five her after sex.'

[mrs_overall]

rofl!

[gness]

Hi lovely lady!!!!! That's brilliant! Nice to see you after your break to play with crafty bits. xxxx

[mrs_overall]

Hello gness, just a flying visit and then back to the crafty bits xx

[Psybbo]

Does Crafty know you've got her bits?

[gness]

You flew here???? And how many seagulls suffered on your journey?

[tonyav]

[i]Oh gawd, she's back. Return of < The Look >[i].
Heloooo, mrs o, nice to see you, how are things ?.

[Mamyalynne]

Hi MrsO - good to see you back with us.


signed
Mamya
Retired Matron, nice pair of elbows...and has several coats.