It's not the word, it's how it's used and who you use it to IMO.... but it is a word that you have to be very careful about.
I'd happily call my friends tw@ts, I wouldn't call a stranger that.
In my circle of friends I have a friend who calls another friend "Mr. Black" but they've been mates for over 30 years and it's taken as it's meant, I don't know the "Mr. Black" well enough to call him that, so although he's a friend I don't feel I could call him that.
Language and semantics are fascinating. I was brought up to believe that 'coloured' or 'people of colour' were the polite ways of describing black people.
Then that was a no-no and 'black' is the proper word to use.
My father said 'negroid' but never used the N word. I was brought up to believe that word is highly offensive, a swear word, I suppose.
I used to drink in an unlicensed club in Sheffield (run by a group of Afro-caribbeans) where I was always known as 'the white n*****". I regarded it as a compliment!
I use lots of words that teenagers dont
in fact a lot they probably dont understand
and so I expect teenagers to use words I dont.
I referred to my lady dog as a bitch in front of
some shelf packers who fell about roaring with laughter
and I could only conclude that they were not aware that the word had a canine context as well as the one they used.....
Probably the only book in history to have had three titles is Agatha Christie's "Ten Little N******".
Due to changing attitudes it was later changed to "Ten Little Indians"
That too proved unacceptable so now it is titled "...And then there were none"