Fact Of Life

marval | 20:06 Mon 08th Jul 2013 | Jokes

5 Answers

Fact of Life:
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F

I really want to win a lifetime's supply of calendars.
So I know when I'm going to die.

I just saw a van drive by with the company name "Seafood Solutions"
I have to admit, I didn't know that seafood was a problem.

I made the mistake of buying a running machine the other day....
Haven't seen it since.

Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

I was named after my grandfather.
Well I wasn't going to be named before him, was I?

My daughter said she wanted to get loads of piercings, so to save on money I made her bath the cat.

I opened up a business selling trampolines to Eastern Europeans, but it's not going well... the Czechs keep bouncing.

Just before Magners released their excellent yearly figures, a mate tipped me off & I bought thousands of shares.
Unfortunately, he's been arrested for in-cider trading.

I tried to cook an octopus last night ... after eight hours I gave up ...
It just kept on switching the gas off