Cyberbullying At The Worst Level

[Booldawg]

http://news.uk.msn.com/website-to-aid-bully-death-probe

A bit close to home as it was on an open Q&A site. We're lucky on here as the site is very well monitored. Should all sites enjoy the same amount of editing we have on here or is it a case of 'if you can't stand the heat' ?

[DaisyNonna]

Really appreciate the monitoring on this site. Thanks Eds.

[jno]

even here the modding can be hit and miss - there are times when the Ed has gone home and there are seemingly no mods about, and bile is left lying around till morning, or longer if nobody reports it. That's a result of not having a large staff, for which you have to charge people to join up.

"If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen"... well, tragically, she did. It sounds as if that website allowed private messaging (as this one used to), which makes it almost impossible to monitor. I feel so sad for her, but I don't see how websites can be told to monitor everything written on them let alone on a PM system.

[Booldawg]

but these trolls - the story is high enough profile for them to know they have blood on their hands; do they feel any kind of guilt - surely?

[askyourgran]

It is so sad that those young people are subjected to that sort of behaviour, I really hope that a solution can be found to stop it, or a means of stopping the sick barstewards who do that. Maybe if the site posted a troll alert and a message to youngsters to report them.

[woofgang]

I would never ever blame any victim of bullying for being bullied, but I do think that there is also a place for actively boosting the self confidence and resilience of children and teens of both genders so that they are less likely to be so badly hurt by cyber bullying.

[jno]

shouldn't think so, that's why they're trolls.

There's some background here

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/aug/06/askfm-way-to-make-it-safe

[Bbbananas]

I have just spoken t my 13 year old niece and told her if she's n this ask.fm site, to get off it. She told me she was, but deactivated it cos she started getting hate texts and told that no-one wold care if she died or killed herself.

It is disgusting - they target vulnerable young girls (and lads no doubt), they should be sought out and prosecuted.

Thankfully my niece has told me, and deactivated.

[Old_Geezer]

Monitoring is good, but is unlikely to ever be perfect. If one finds a place unpleasant to be in one should decide to stay away. One would have the sense to do so in "real life" why would it be any different in cyberspace ? That said the culprits are those that bully, more than the admin that didn't manage to stop it.

[Gromit]

Even though it is billed as a question and answers site, I do not see any comparision to AB. Here, everyone is anonymous and everything is public. We have had our fair share of trolls, and nasties, but the report and the mods usually stop anything getting out of hand.

I cannot believe that a few words on a website were along in driving this girl to kill herself. I suspect there must have been other things that upset her.

[jim360]

The problem is that there are nasty people, and the internet seems to allow them to be even nastier with impunity. And even people we might think of as nice can turn nasty, and say things they never would dream of saying in public. Because, after all, it's virtual, so nothing on this matters. But of course, it does, and the internet is for some people as much a part of real life as anything else.

There's little that can be done, other than trying to encourage people to be nicer, and to encourage those who might be victims to seek out help. But the trolling itself will never stop, at least in part people people want the internet to be open and largely free of censorship. For all the benefits that freedom brings, it will also bring these horrible stories. Thankfully, such stories are relatively where and overwhelmingly the internet has brought benefits, for example by allowing people to meet so much more of the world than ever they could have otherwise.

[cupotee]

I heard of a child [14] who uses that site and there seems no shame to the way even the young supposed innocent young people converse with each other.

This one has trolls reckoning they have "had sex with your mother" and what I will do to you etc etc...the parent knows but does nothing about keeping her daughter off the site.

The latest sad incident does make me wonder why the parent didn't ban the use seeing as he says its been going on a while. Turn the blooming thing off pull the plug out the socket.!

,

[ludwig]

// There's little that can be done //

It doesn't happen on this site jim because it's well moderated and there's no private messaging. Although that can be annoying sometimes to responsible users, it's a small price to pay for preventing it sinking to the level of some of these other sites.

// I cannot believe that a few words on a website were along in driving this girl to kill herself //

Hard to understand for most of us, but fourteen yr olds think differently. They can be incredibly vulnerable and impulsive, which is why they need protecting from this kind of stuff. It will be the same age group that are the 'trolls' in these cases as well.

The internet provides an opportunity for every twisted little nerd to be a playground bully. It's a massive playground, you don't have to be physically tough, and you can remain anonymous. That's all too much of a temptation for some.

[andy-hughes]

I heard a woman on the radio this morning advising that bullying in school could be managed because you can walk away, but internet bullying by PC or phone is 'with you all the time'.

Why?

If you close your eyes, PC bullying is neutralised instantly. If you delete messages from your phone without reading them, their power is removed.

I know i am of a different generation, but no-one is tying these children in front of computers. Why cannot parents educate them that cyber-communication is totally manageable, and it is not a pre-requisite of modern living to have channels of communication open every waking minute.

[Boto]

It is disgusting behaviour from those bullies. Having said that, why did she continue to access the site. I know I am a different generation but even in my teens I would have just walked away.

[grumpy01]

Headteachers "talk a good game"on managing bullying but turn a blind eye to it in reallity and this cyberbullying is just an extension of what goes on.

[dave50]

As long as this site is monitored to cut out personal insults and bad language that's ok. But it must not filter out opinions that might upset others. If so then it's defeating the object of the site.

[LazyGun]

On one level, the notion of cyberbullying prompting a young girl to kill themselves does seem odd - some TV interviews with friends of hers described her as full of life and popular etc - so why did she let the cyberbullying influence her so much.

It does seem though that there are many people out there, particularly kids, whose state of mind is seriously affected by what other people think of them, and whose identity seems defined by social media- how many likes or followers they have determines their worth. In those sort of circumstances, where the abuse has been over a long period time and is unrelenting, I could see how someone might become so distressed that they would take their own life - but I would have expected some real world symptoms too - depression, lack of engagement with others, listlessness over a period of time = and none of these symptoms appear to have been described.

[Cloverjo]

I think with kids of this age, they don't quite get the finality of suicide, that they will be gone forever. Things feel unbearable, so they want to get to get out of their situation, without quite grasping that killing themselves is the end of everything, always.
That sounds a bit simplistic, but I think it's true.

[Gromit]

Ask.fm seems to be targetted at teens while AB's demographic is mainly grumpy OAPs.

[mightyWBA]

What's wrong with the "off" button?
I've lived the majority of my life without the internet,just can't understand how people can be driven to suicide by others typing words.
Very sad.