How Would You React To This?

[dunnitall]

How would you react? Told this afternoon..... Only grandson phones to say...you are going to be great grandparents....hmmm.

He's 19 she is 23, he is out of work living with parents....no chance of a job....or I doubt it. Will have to reside with my daughter....in unsuitable 3 bed house....and no prospects of providing for family at the moment.

I like the idea of being g/grandparent...BUT not that he cannot provide for new family.....how would you deal with it, cope with news.... I am gutted for the immediate future, can only hope he gets a job, but where do they live, how does he hope to provide a home for his new family....?

[Mamyalynne]

I think I would feel torn, just as you do - a new member of the family is wonderful. But they are running before they have learned to walk and in that there is sadness.

I do hope it works out for them.

[boxtops]

It's a hard one, but it seems to be the way of the world these days. Very few young people can afford to move out of the parental home until they are in their 30s. If the girl is working, that's a bonus - it's no longer the sole responsibility of the man to provide a home for his family, it's a shared responsibility.

[lady-janine]

don't think i would react with any great joy, given the circumstances. sorry to say that but that is how i feel.

[ummmm]

I don't know how I'd react. I certainly wouldn't be happy.

What about the girlfriend? Does she have a job?

[jno]

it isn't really your problem, though. Your daughter's, maybe. But I don't think you can go on assuming responsibility for your descendants indefinitely. Give them cuddles and birthday presents, but don't fret that you should be doing something about it.

[Sqad]

Bloody stupid......I would be furious.

In my day contraception had it's problems....but ..NOW.....all she has to do is take a tablet daily for contraception.

Speechless.

[Peter Pedant]

.
for chrissakes Dunnitall lighten up.
You cant make the baby crawl back up
and they arent asking you to feed the child or change his nappies.

and you can't live their lives for them either

open a bottle of wine and say cheers....

[ummmm]

Don't even need to take a tablet daily, Sqad.

Implants, coils, injections....CONDOMS.

[naomi24]

It's certainly not ideal, but it's done, so I don't see what you can do about it. Life will go on and what happens will happen.

[Prudie]

I'd be horrified and the champagne and joy of a new baby does not last long. Its prospects for a stable life wanting for little is not good is it.But as said it's not your problem.

[boxtops]

Hear hear, ummm!

[naomi24]

We all know they should have been careful, but they weren't. It's done and there's nothing to be gained by being angry.

[Sqad]

naomi...we know all that, but the question was:

\\How Would You React To This?\\

[naomi24]

Sqad, I know. I'd be disappointed - and worried, as dunnitall is - but I just can't see the point in getting angry.

[pixie373]

I certainly wouldn't want it for my children, but as others have said, it's happened now, so there is nothing you can do but look on the positive side, congratulate them and support them. Hopefully, it might be the wake-up call to sort themselves out xx

[trt]

I wouldn't get upset or angry, its his problem and unfortunately its the way that a lot of people are quite happy to live on benefits in the UK!

[mrs.chappie]

I'd find it a bit sad as (IMO) they're far too young. However, as has been said before - let 'em sort themselves out.

[pixie373]

Not necessarily, trt. I had my first child at 21, after working with horses and earning next to nothing. We knew nothing about benefits and struggled for a few years without any outside help. I had 3 in 3 years and worked from home doing book-keeping and OU courses. I went back to work as soon as i stopped breast-feeding. But those babies gave me all the motivation i needed.

[dunnitall]

Aw wow thanks so much for replying. I feel all those emotions...I want to be - g/ grandparent but what chance do they stand! I will support of course, but when daughter is partway thru breast cancer problems, us not good with health and rely on our wonderful family, I am just devastated that the silly boy did not even think of consequences.... Do they ever though...? I just knew this might happen but hoped it wouldn't for my darling daughters sake.

[Mamyalynne]

I really do feel for you - it happened last year to a friend, her initial reaction was 'They shan't live here,I will not be buying all sorts for the baby'.

The reality is, she took them in paid for all sorts of baby stuff and can be seen out and about most days with the baby in tow. The young couple should respect your daughter's health and not expect to be carried.

As a family you will get through, take care.