Featured Questions Of The Week

[Dear-Doris]

"Worried of Warwickshire" writes :

Some rather rude people have been implying that the size of my motorcycle is in inverse proportion to the size of my manhood - what can I do to disprove this?

Doris Says :

Dear D***

With such a tiny moped you must be hung like a donkey - just accept compliments where you can get them.



"Kamikaze of Kettering" writes :

Yesterday my car battery died.....today the batteries in my phone and torch have died.

I do interchange my batteries.

What could be wearing my batteries down so quickly?

Doris Says :

Dear Gxxxx

Just be very careful at bedtime - all that battery energy has to have gone somewhere.

[tonyav]

Dear Doris, will Kamikazee of Kettering require a jump start ?.

[Baldric]

There's something Fishy here I suspect!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hT_CEIKqbLg/Uhu2LvfAQhI/AAAAAAAAAEo/dXHnXBfoUbI/s1600/macrel.jpg

[Dear-Doris]

Nothing fishy here ...

http://en.gravatar.com/userimage/67596224/ee70e09fe6c68e1395f0344d9027a06a.png?size=200

[murraymints]

Do I smell herring ?

[sunny-dave]

Oi !!!!!!

[EcclesCake]

Maybe mackerel Minty ;-)

[Dear-Doris]

Doris Says :

A recipe for 'minted mackerel', Mrs Cake?

Even by your lofty standards that would be a ... triumph?

[EcclesCake]

I'll take a pierce and ping lasagne, just not from Asda.....I'm a classy bird (wot drinks pints).......Waitrose only daaahling!

[gness]

Pierce and Ping?????

Honestly...these Waitrose birds are just too posh.....'tis Prick and Ping....Prick and Ping.....just ask Tony...x

[Psybbo]

Dear Doris, Mark rang me today to say there's a problem with Windows on my computer. Should I let him help me?

[Dear-Doris]

Dear "Psycho"

He sounds like a nice boy - just tell him all about the problems your DH is having with his Dongle..

Doris

[Psybbo]

Doris, I believe you are psychic...........

[jomifl]

do not try to interchange your batteries particularly your car battery with your mobile phone battery. Possibly your car battery is flat because you are trying to recharge it with your mobile phone charger.. :o)

[gness]

Jom....could that explain the melt down of my mobile phone.....was attaching it to the car battery wrong?..x