How Would This Work?

[trolly61]

I have been a single parent for 18 years and I worked hard to ensure my kids had a good life. I have three jobs and a mortgage and i have never claimed benefits. I have £250,000+ equity on my home and i also own half of my deceased parents home with is rented out to tennants. There is no mortgage on it and its worth around £90,000. I also have a private pension which is due to mature in 18 months time giving me a lump sum of around £45,000. My mortgage still has 11 years to run but is coming down nicely now.
2 years ago i met a wonderful man and we started a relationship. He has 2 sons but they dont live with him. He lives in a really nice council property. His younger son has just moved out and he has been talking about exchanging the property for a smaller one as he says its too much for him on his own ie rent, bills etc. He does work and earns decent wages.
I have thought about asking him to move in with me and my two adult sons at home but im very wary that he has no assets and i do. Obviously if he did move in he would be contributing towards the household.
We are very happy together and i trust him totally but i do worry as to how this would work. I am anxious to protect my assets for my children as ive worked very hard for what ive got.
I think eventually we will look at marriage but id like to know how this could work as he has no assets or savings.
How do i protect my assets? Id appreciate any advice. Thank you

[black_cat51]

it seems odd that you trust him totally, but at the same time don't trust him at all. I am really puzzled by your line "I think eventually we will look at marriage but id like to know how this could work as he has no assets or savings"
are you saying marriage can only work if you both have assets and savings?

If you are this concerned about getting ripped off, it would probably be wisest to see a solictor. You seem to imply that you ultimately want to achieve leaving everything you own when you die to you your children, but what if you do marry and have 20, 25, 30 happy years together? If you ere to die first, would you not want to leave hom something? Somewhere to live?

[trolly61]

Hi thanks for your answer. I do trust him but you never know do you? Ive heard a similar story and the marriage didnt work and he ended up getting half the hous which he had made no contribution to in the 5 years of marriage. Im not suggesting my bloke would do this but im trying to be sensible here and protect what i have for my kids, ive worked too hard to just give half away if it doesnt work. I know what youre saying about if i die first etc and this is the kind of advice i need. Thanks

[trolly61]

No i wasnt saying it could only work if he had assets or savings. It would just be so much easier if he owned his home and had equity...we could sell both and buy a new home equally and start fresh, but he doesnt. So where does it leave me legally if he moves in/we get married?

[boxtops]

Trolly, a pre-nuptual agreement would seem to be the way forward for you. Many people do this, to protect their individual assets in the event of anything going wrong in future - it doesn't matter whether one of you is materially far better off than the other, the document outlines the individual assest which each party is bringing to the relationship, and who owns what. If anything did go awry, you can refer back to the document as the basis for a divorce settlement. It's not untrusting, it's sensible for people who are thinking practically about protecting their assets. They are however not legally binding documents, but are taken into account by a divorce court when considering any divorce settlement.

Have a look here http://www.prenups.uk.com/site/summary-of-the-current-law

[trolly61]

Thank you

[Prudie]

I totally understand why you want some reassurance on this - we all trust our relationships at the start but never know what's going to happen. I'd suggest a one-off session with a solicitor to advise you.
My mother and step-father were happily married for 22 years but when he died his will left evrything (including the house which had been his) to his 3 children by previous marriage and nothing to my mother so it can be done.

[Peter Pedant]

yeah it sounds as tho you need a pre-nup

In all the second marriages I have been involved in,
everyone agreed that the step children would not inherit....

however as it stands, if you marry and die intestate then your new hubby gets the first £250k and he is / woul dbe free to leave it to his ( your step children ) and THAT has occurred imy family too