What Is The Answer?

[TWR]

A few posts of late to Children / youth's and the things / antic's they get up to, can someone come up with a solution that we can all agree on? some posts get taken out of all contest, I am not saying Flogging, birching , roasting, belting, but where is the answer? is it wrong to Ground them? then you get a mouth full even slapped, is the answer to remove their Laptop / IPhone / Games Consul / again to be called a f---- Basds by a few children, it seems that parent have lost the right to correct their children, some get slagged off for talking about putting them into the forces, quite a few newspaper stories about the assault on the elderly, assaulted when walking your dog, doing the shopping, where is the answer,

[dannyk13]

Make being PC an offence. Too much meddling by the PC brigade hss a lot to do with the present situation.

[woofgang]

Make parents REALLY responsible for the behaviour of their children.

[dannyk13]

Agreed woofgang, but the parents hands are somewhat tied.

[ummmm]

I could imagine one of my kids slapping me....NOT.

Depends on the crime. I grounded my son Halloween weekend for being rude to me. He was only grounded for the weekend because he had plans so had to miss out on them. Had he been rude again he would have been grounded and made to stay in his room and his iphone confiscated (he doesn't have a TV in his room)

My older son was really naughty once and he was grounded to his bedroom with just a tennis ball.

Do they learn? Only for a short while. They will probably be rude to me again at some point.

What we have though is a solid family unit. My partner always backs me up. We are a family that get on, listen to each other, laugh a lot and show love and affection in both words and actions.

[Mamyalynne]

There isn't one simple solution that will fit all sadly,would that it were so easy.


Discipline and the consequences for bad behaviour must start very young, saying no is something to teach them to accept albeit reluctantly -any threats of punishment (grounding,removal of cherished objects etc) must be acted upon and not just empty words.

The hope that every parent will operate that way is of course ideal but won't happen, never has but we can but try.

[woofgang]

Tied by what danny?

[ummmm]

Tied by the law, Woof, as in you can't beat your kids with a weapon anymore. Like that's a bad thing..!

[Mamyalynne]

You've lost the battle if you need to resort to anything physical.

[Mamyalynne]

By physical I mean above and beyond removing them from a situation.

[ummmm]

I think smacking is a loss of self control. If smacking was only used as a punishment when the parent was calm hardly anyone would use it.

[dannyk13]

What do you do if the child openly rebels against any other form of punishment?

[andy-hughes]

The answer depends on the child.

Hitting a child is simply not acceptable.

Punishments must vary depending on the reason, and the child.

My youngest was such a sensitive soul that a sideways look would send her into floods of tears. her biggest punishment was always simply to let her know she had displeased her mum and I - that was more than enough, she would cry and apologise, and (usually) improve forthwith.

Her oldest sister was a total nightmare, and we had to use segretated eating at home, grounding, (there were no bedroom TV's or phones to be removed in those days!) and endless reasoning talks that often descended into shouting matches.

It is a difficult path to adulthood, some make it easier for themsevles, and others around them, than others, but they usually get there intact.

More than concentrating on bad behaviour, parents need to heap on the praise for good behaviour, which often goes as 'the way it should be', but we all respond to appreciation and being made to feel good about ourselves, what ever age we are.

[ummmm]

In what way?

[ummmm]

That was to danny..

[ummmm]

Some children are brought up in awful areas which makes the battle for parents so much harder.

[Zeuhl]

Like children and youths mis behaving is a new phenomenon

The answer is to take less notice of scaremongering 'newspaper stories' and recognize that the majority of people (the young included) behave reasonably most of the time

I have personally witnessed rude behaviour twice in as many days; in both cases the perpetrator was at least 70 years old - so let's not allow personal prejudices and the anecdotes of others skew our judgement

[janbee]

I know that the law says that parents must not slap their little darlings but does that mean we can slap other peoples' little cherubs? No? oh, too bad. Thought not.

[dannyk13]

ummmm, refuses to accept that he/she is grounded and goes ou,or refuses to go to his/her room when told. Just refuses to accept any form of punishment.